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Your comment brings to mind a passage I highlighted years ago in Robert Sapolsky's Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers: Stress-induced displacement of aggression: the

Your comment brings to mind a passage I highlighted years ago in Robert Sapolsky's Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers: Stress-induced displacement of aggression: the practice works wonders at minimizing the stressfulness of a stressor. It’s a real primate specialty as well. A male baboon loses a fight. Frustrated, he spins around and attacks a subordinate male who was minding his own business. An extremely high percentage of primate aggression represents frustration displaced onto innocent bystanders. Extended quote here (not my blog): https://transferringstuff.wordpress.com/2010/09/07/disturbing-mechanism-for-stress-release/ https://transferringstuff.wordpress.com/2010/09/07/disturbin... I think you're right and what's tough is that the impulse to unload on someone seems to be hard-wired and even salutary. I have to catch myself from doing it and even then I'm sure I'm a regular source of microaggressions. I think to a certain extent bureaucracy, humane bureaucracy, can be a corrective to the bite-your-subordinate instinct. But I agree there's nothing so effective at generating find-me-an-innocent-bystander-to-swipe-at fury as mindless ineffective bureaucracy where the architects of it are hidden and unaccountable. And, as you point out with technology, it's very easy to slip into regarding that third-party service your company signed up for or the open-source library you downloaded after glancing at the README -- when it doesn't work as expected or you promised yourself it would -- in just those terms. Maybe someone could start a Punching-Bag-as-a-Service platform to collect and safely dispose of all this displaced aggression. Is there a good online screaming pillow where I could direct myself and others in these moment of impotent rage?

vinceguidry 8y ago
At my last workplace, I used to deal with it by simply getting up and taking a walk. A total context change is probably the best way to cope. Take a good half hour and get some physical activity. Ping pong was helpful too when I had access to a table. A service is unlikely to work because anger requires immediate release when triggered otherwise it's repressed. Repressed anger builds up and makes the next outburst worse. I believe that the "lives of quiet desperation" described refer to anger that's continually repressed with no outlet. There's a seeming epidemic of burnout in tech that I think is driven by this dynamic. I've seen people start jobs and almost immediately start exhibiting symptoms of burnout. The inhumanity of tech builds up and every little thing builds up. I don't get burned out. I think this is because I'm skilled at managing my emotions. But as I get older my tolerance for repressing anger to release it in a controlled explosion later when nobody is watching grows less and less. And my jobs get more and more visible. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to stay in this career.

vinceguidry 8y ago

At my last workplace, I used to deal with it by simply getting up and taking a walk. A total context change is probably the best way to cope. Take a good half hour and get some physical activity. Ping pong was helpful too when I had access to a table. A service is unlikely to work because anger requires immediate release when triggered otherwise it's repressed. Repressed anger builds up and makes the next outburst worse. I believe that the "lives of quiet desperation" described refer to anger that's continually repressed with no outlet. There's a seeming epidemic of burnout in tech that I think is driven by this dynamic. I've seen people start jobs and almost immediately start exhibiting symptoms of burnout. The inhumanity of tech builds up and every little thing builds up. I don't get burned out. I think this is because I'm skilled at managing my emotions. But as I get older my tolerance for repressing anger to release it in a controlled explosion later when nobody is watching grows less and less. And my jobs get more and more visible. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to stay in this career.