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This might get down-voted, and I don't mean to sound mean-spirited, only to spark a conversation. I have a problem with the recent influx of (what should we ca

by dvt 8y ago

This might get down-voted, and I don't mean to sound mean-spirited, only to spark a conversation. I have a problem with the recent influx of (what should we call it?) "depression porn" -- where this kind of mental suffering is weirdly lauded and shared, authors are "brave" for writing it, and so on. Obviously some people have crippling depression; some people also have life-altering injuries, stage 4 cancer, dying children, etc. Further, can a random internet reader truly be insightful regarding anyone's personal struggles? Other than meaningless platitudes ("You got this!"), what can the internet truly offer? It seems like OP has given up on life -- which is a real shame, considering he's only 32 (incidentally, my age) -- but there's nothing anyone can realistically do.

weego 8y ago
I've suffered from (at times) pretty debilitating depression since I was early teens I think. In the last few years I've spend a lot of free time in and around crisis support and rehabilitating people back into lives after mental health crisis. There are a lot of people with "social" mental health issues (depression being the main one) that have no interest in the process of getting better and rehabilitating themselves into a life. I've worked with a lot of shades in the spectrum and the ones with real motivation to be better just aren't there long. The opposite side is the people that make no progress and are in the same community saying the same things and seeking the same amount of sympathy for months or years. Some people define themselves as their illness and that will last their entire lives and they become a victim to themselves. Other people aren't ready yet for the struggle of clawing your way back into a life. I was like that for a while, the sad and unpleasant truth is that severe depression is comfortable. It's addictive. You can completely defer any sense of responsibility, of expectation, of necessity to do anything really, all because you can define yourself as depressed and that is at least something. It's not healthy to pander to that, and criticising it isn't cruel or mean. It's important that all MH issues can be talked about, but we are really still in the infancy of it, and don't seem to be ready to also acknowledge the unpleasant realities as well. Not everyone with a MH issue is brave, they're not all fighting to get better, and it's not on everyone else to help save them when they won't save themselves. In crisis support the people that stay are the ones that understand that you can't save someone. You can give them a minute, and hour, a day maybe for them to decide they want to save themselves.
DoreenMichele 8y ago
People with very big problems often find they are at a loss as to how to find a path forward in part because it is socially unacceptable to talk about the kinds of problems they have. If you can't even talk about something, or you have to only talk about it "in the right way" (while you are utterly miserable and struggling to do anything), this is a barrier to problem solving. But I think we also generally need to do a better job of distinguishing between life circumstances that are inherently depressing and people whose circumstances seem fine, but they are depressed anyway due to brain wonkiness. It isn't necessarily crazy to look at your life, realize it is a shitty, shitty life with no real solutions and decide "Death seems like the only hope of an end to my suffering." and thus become suicidal. (This is the basis for Right to die laws -- the idea that it isn't crazy to want to end it in some situations.)

by dvt 8y ago

weego 8y ago

I've suffered from (at times) pretty debilitating depression since I was early teens I think. In the last few years I've spend a lot of free time in and around crisis support and rehabilitating people back into lives after mental health crisis. There are a lot of people with "social" mental health issues (depression being the main one) that have no interest in the process of getting better and rehabilitating themselves into a life. I've worked with a lot of shades in the spectrum and the ones with real motivation to be better just aren't there long. The opposite side is the people that make no progress and are in the same community saying the same things and seeking the same amount of sympathy for months or years. Some people define themselves as their illness and that will last their entire lives and they become a victim to themselves. Other people aren't ready yet for the struggle of clawing your way back into a life. I was like that for a while, the sad and unpleasant truth is that severe depression is comfortable. It's addictive. You can completely defer any sense of responsibility, of expectation, of necessity to do anything really, all because you can define yourself as depressed and that is at least something. It's not healthy to pander to that, and criticising it isn't cruel or mean. It's important that all MH issues can be talked about, but we are really still in the infancy of it, and don't seem to be ready to also acknowledge the unpleasant realities as well. Not everyone with a MH issue is brave, they're not all fighting to get better, and it's not on everyone else to help save them when they won't save themselves. In crisis support the people that stay are the ones that understand that you can't save someone. You can give them a minute, and hour, a day maybe for them to decide they want to save themselves.

DoreenMichele 8y ago

People with very big problems often find they are at a loss as to how to find a path forward in part because it is socially unacceptable to talk about the kinds of problems they have. If you can't even talk about something, or you have to only talk about it "in the right way" (while you are utterly miserable and struggling to do anything), this is a barrier to problem solving. But I think we also generally need to do a better job of distinguishing between life circumstances that are inherently depressing and people whose circumstances seem fine, but they are depressed anyway due to brain wonkiness. It isn't necessarily crazy to look at your life, realize it is a shitty, shitty life with no real solutions and decide "Death seems like the only hope of an end to my suffering." and thus become suicidal. (This is the basis for Right to die laws -- the idea that it isn't crazy to want to end it in some situations.)