>This is speculatively projecting a lot of thoughts and feelings on the brother-in-law, which is quite patronizing. The most powerful and influential communica

>This is speculatively projecting a lot of thoughts and feelings on the brother-in-law, which is quite patronizing. The most powerful and influential communicators/connectors I've encountered in my life essentially only ever do this. I suppose the nuance is that they treat every person as an individual, so (on a semi-subconscious level) spend their first interactions profiling the individual so they understand their motives. I liken it to boxers learning their opponent's range and rhythm (only less combative). I suppose what might be patronizing though is projecting thoughts onto a stranger from afar (like on this thread) though presenting some projections as an example of one possible thought pattern that may need to be handled can be useful IMO.