I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. The family is in a very difficult spot right now and people all cope and behave differently. I'd recommend the book Never Sp

I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. The family is in a very difficult spot right now and people all cope and behave differently. I'd recommend the book Never Split the Difference which was written by a former hostage negotiator. From what I learned from that book, anchoring his emotions and asking How questions might have helped you. Why questions are accusatory and put people on the defensive, often leading to escalation.