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Great question. I use NVC frequently to people with a lot more power than me, and I'd actually suggest NVC is actually about putting yourself (and your needs)
by davesuperman 8y ago
Great question.
I use NVC frequently to people with a lot more power than me, and I'd actually suggest NVC is actually about putting yourself (and your needs) on the same level as those of the person your speaking with.
The fundamental premise is that fundamental needs are shared by all humans... and the ideal strategy is one where all needs are met.
So, you can avoid patronising someone by truly seeking to understand the other person's feelings and needs without judgement and taking those needs seriously. Again, easy to say, hard to do.
- motohagiography 8y agoThat's the key I think. Appreciated. By putting your universal needs on the same level (not your "self"), you are in effect appealing to principle, so there is likely a great deal of alignment between the methods as described. Looking forward to reading up more on this. Thank you.
- Jommi 8y agoHey, just wanna point out your commenting style is tremendously good. Somehow each one has all the ingredients of a great comment for a discussion. Thanks for the effort!
- motohagiography 8y agoThat's a kind observation. If I worked for you that would be really satisfying to hear... This is why it's important to be conscientious about spirals of passive aggression with this communication style. Mastering it is mastery, trying is, well, doing it wrong. Great thread.
- newacct8086 8y ago"I use NVC frequently to people with a lot more power than me ..." Examples? I'm struggling to understand how one could "frequently" have to use NVC with "people a lot more power". Having to do this frequently itself is a problem with the organization, right?
- andrei_says_ 8y agoAny conversation involving appreciation or a request can benefit from the principles of nvc which can be made in natural language.