6 ms·

Am I the only one here that thinks this is all a bit creepy? The technical bits I get, but the parts on general life advice, especially the chapter on “seductio

by tnolet 8y ago

Am I the only one here that thinks this is all a bit creepy? The technical bits I get, but the parts on general life advice, especially the chapter on “seduction” give me a very bleak image of the OP’s actual life. I might be wrong, the OP might be the happiest person ever: I’m just picking up a lot of different signals from this project and the writing in it.

s_y_n_t_a_x 8y ago
Consider this a diary + blog. You'd get creeped out reading anyone's diary. I don't think OP is creepy at all, everything in here is normal and very honest.
- mbrock 8y ago
  Maybe the seduction page would seem more relatable if it actually were diaristic, talking about some real life experiences rather than “theory.”
leftyted 8y ago
"Creepy" seems judgmental. Many (most? all?) single, heterosexual men are somewhat preoccupied with how to be attractive to women (the reverse is also true). Is this news to you? I also have a negative reaction to you speculating about how "bleak" his life is. I see this project as an attempt at absolute honesty. And if we're being honest, doesn't everyone's life contain a fair amount of bleakness? We all have insecurities. We all suffer tragedies. We're all wrong about various things. Your comment seems basically uncharitable. I wouldn't attempt to be honest about "everything I know" publicly, on the internet. But I think a little charity is in order towards those who do make that attempt.
- haukilup 8y ago
  I really connected with your comment, and it mirrors my personal attitude. Particularly this part: > I see this project as an attempt at absolute honesty. And if we're being honest, doesn't everyone's life contain a fair amount of bleakness? We all have insecurities. We all suffer tragedies. We're all wrong about various things. It is difficult to be genuine in this world, at least for me. I am afraid of people's judgements, whether real or imagined. It takes a lot of courage on the part of the OP to put out this sort of work, opening themselves and their beliefs to the scrutiny of anyone who chooses to read it.
- tnolet 8y ago
  Yes, it's judgemental. This is a discussion forum and this is my view on it, this is how I "judge" it. But honestly, I'm all for weird & quirky. However, my response to reading this post and the blog/wiki was very different than some of the more positive responses here. Ergo, the counter argument. I didn't get the positive weird/quirky feeling, rather the opposite.
  - leftyted 8y ago
    Imagine a student has finished reading something they wrote in front of their creative writing class. Someone raises their hand and responds with "Wow that was creepy. Your life must be pretty bleak". Of course you're entitled to those thoughts, but I think it's a good idea to couch them differently or at least to get into the reason why you had that reaction. I can understand a negative reaction to a project like this. There's some amount of narcissism involved in writing down everything I know and then publishing it. There's also some amount of narcissism involved in writing anything at all and assuming that other people will be interested in it. There's also narcissism in me reacting negatively to your comment and then criticizing your post, as if I have something worthwhile that I want to transmit to you. Yeah, yeah: "All is vanity". But we want people to write things down and share them, right? We want people to communicate, say what they think, and risk being wrong or creepy, right? My general thoughts are, when criticizing something something like this, err on the side of charity. Negative reactions are fine, but couch them and explain them.
  - dTal 8y ago
    I can understand the "ick" factor - putting this much of oneself online, without any contextual filter, embodies a level of intimacy unusual with strangers. I don't think it's weird to find it discomfiting seeing notes about machine learning side by side with relationship advice. It feels like a bit much from one guy. But I think it's very unfair to say it paints a very bleak picture of his life. I jumped straight to the Seduction section after your comment, half-expecting some kind of PUA crap. But it's just filled with the kind of solid advice you get from your dad. Maintain eye contact. Don't slouch. Be honest and genuine. Compliment effort, not intrinsic beauty. Flirt with body language and small amounts of touch, but don't be aggressive. It's all pretty standard, solid stuff.
quakenul 8y ago
This sentiment really, really bothers me. Yes, in reality humans are all sorts of weird, creepy, flawed, not super happy or good looking. If this is what you risk when sharing on the internet, then maybe highly curated social media and the anxiety that it brings had it right all along. We need more of this. More weirdness, more real human beings. If you don't like something, move along. Also, you never are the only one.
- tnolet 8y ago
  Well, this is a discussion forum. The OP posted this wiki a couple of times to HN. You get positive comments, you get other, less positive or more critical ones. The "if you don't like it, move along" argument is fine in general and I support it 100%, but in this case a bit strange as posting something to HN is mostly to get responses / views / arguments, not just gushing adoration.
  - madrasman 8y ago
    Not all comments are the same. Comments that are thoughtfully articulated and about the ideas rather than an unexplained character judgement of the author, detract from the discussion.
    - gdy 8y ago
      It's still better to know that you are disliked than not. Even without explanation, it gives you an idea that something on that wiki page is off and it needs more research :)
  - quakenul 8y ago
    > Well, this is a discussion forum. Absolutely. While I do mind your opinion, I don't mind you giving your opinion. > The "if you don't like it, move along" argument is fine in general There is actually a lot of issues that I would have people take a firm stance against more often, instead of just letting it slide. This just happens to not be one of them.
codingdave 8y ago
Anyone who attempts to blog every single thing in their life is opening themselves up to showing off the less-than-perfect aspects of themselves. And that is what this site amounts to - call it a wiki, call it a blog, call it whatever you like, it is someone who spends a decent amount of their life self-documenting it. I'd be far more likely to call them out on their Minimalism topic, as they clearly are far to the extreme on how much time they focus on documenting their life, which is not a minimalist pursuit. Still, it is a personal site for a fellow human being, and I've always maintained that if someone if self-aware enough to make specific decisions on who they want to be, and how they want to live, they deserve respect for that.
deleted 8y ago
[deleted]

by tnolet 8y ago

s_y_n_t_a_x 8y ago

Consider this a diary + blog. You'd get creeped out reading anyone's diary. I don't think OP is creepy at all, everything in here is normal and very honest.

mbrock 8y ago
Maybe the seduction page would seem more relatable if it actually were diaristic, talking about some real life experiences rather than “theory.”

leftyted 8y ago

"Creepy" seems judgmental. Many (most? all?) single, heterosexual men are somewhat preoccupied with how to be attractive to women (the reverse is also true). Is this news to you? I also have a negative reaction to you speculating about how "bleak" his life is. I see this project as an attempt at absolute honesty. And if we're being honest, doesn't everyone's life contain a fair amount of bleakness? We all have insecurities. We all suffer tragedies. We're all wrong about various things. Your comment seems basically uncharitable. I wouldn't attempt to be honest about "everything I know" publicly, on the internet. But I think a little charity is in order towards those who do make that attempt.

haukilup 8y ago
I really connected with your comment, and it mirrors my personal attitude. Particularly this part: > I see this project as an attempt at absolute honesty. And if we're being honest, doesn't everyone's life contain a fair amount of bleakness? We all have insecurities. We all suffer tragedies. We're all wrong about various things. It is difficult to be genuine in this world, at least for me. I am afraid of people's judgements, whether real or imagined. It takes a lot of courage on the part of the OP to put out this sort of work, opening themselves and their beliefs to the scrutiny of anyone who chooses to read it.
tnolet 8y ago
Yes, it's judgemental. This is a discussion forum and this is my view on it, this is how I "judge" it. But honestly, I'm all for weird & quirky. However, my response to reading this post and the blog/wiki was very different than some of the more positive responses here. Ergo, the counter argument. I didn't get the positive weird/quirky feeling, rather the opposite.
- leftyted 8y ago
  Imagine a student has finished reading something they wrote in front of their creative writing class. Someone raises their hand and responds with "Wow that was creepy. Your life must be pretty bleak". Of course you're entitled to those thoughts, but I think it's a good idea to couch them differently or at least to get into the reason why you had that reaction. I can understand a negative reaction to a project like this. There's some amount of narcissism involved in writing down everything I know and then publishing it. There's also some amount of narcissism involved in writing anything at all and assuming that other people will be interested in it. There's also narcissism in me reacting negatively to your comment and then criticizing your post, as if I have something worthwhile that I want to transmit to you. Yeah, yeah: "All is vanity". But we want people to write things down and share them, right? We want people to communicate, say what they think, and risk being wrong or creepy, right? My general thoughts are, when criticizing something something like this, err on the side of charity. Negative reactions are fine, but couch them and explain them.
- dTal 8y ago
  I can understand the "ick" factor - putting this much of oneself online, without any contextual filter, embodies a level of intimacy unusual with strangers. I don't think it's weird to find it discomfiting seeing notes about machine learning side by side with relationship advice. It feels like a bit much from one guy. But I think it's very unfair to say it paints a very bleak picture of his life. I jumped straight to the Seduction section after your comment, half-expecting some kind of PUA crap. But it's just filled with the kind of solid advice you get from your dad. Maintain eye contact. Don't slouch. Be honest and genuine. Compliment effort, not intrinsic beauty. Flirt with body language and small amounts of touch, but don't be aggressive. It's all pretty standard, solid stuff.

quakenul 8y ago

This sentiment really, really bothers me. Yes, in reality humans are all sorts of weird, creepy, flawed, not super happy or good looking. If this is what you risk when sharing on the internet, then maybe highly curated social media and the anxiety that it brings had it right all along. We need more of this. More weirdness, more real human beings. If you don't like something, move along. Also, you never are the only one.

tnolet 8y ago
Well, this is a discussion forum. The OP posted this wiki a couple of times to HN. You get positive comments, you get other, less positive or more critical ones. The "if you don't like it, move along" argument is fine in general and I support it 100%, but in this case a bit strange as posting something to HN is mostly to get responses / views / arguments, not just gushing adoration.
- madrasman 8y ago
  Not all comments are the same. Comments that are thoughtfully articulated and about the ideas rather than an unexplained character judgement of the author, detract from the discussion.
  - gdy 8y ago
    It's still better to know that you are disliked than not. Even without explanation, it gives you an idea that something on that wiki page is off and it needs more research :)
- quakenul 8y ago
  > Well, this is a discussion forum. Absolutely. While I do mind your opinion, I don't mind you giving your opinion. > The "if you don't like it, move along" argument is fine in general There is actually a lot of issues that I would have people take a firm stance against more often, instead of just letting it slide. This just happens to not be one of them.

codingdave 8y ago

Anyone who attempts to blog every single thing in their life is opening themselves up to showing off the less-than-perfect aspects of themselves. And that is what this site amounts to - call it a wiki, call it a blog, call it whatever you like, it is someone who spends a decent amount of their life self-documenting it. I'd be far more likely to call them out on their Minimalism topic, as they clearly are far to the extreme on how much time they focus on documenting their life, which is not a minimalist pursuit. Still, it is a personal site for a fellow human being, and I've always maintained that if someone if self-aware enough to make specific decisions on who they want to be, and how they want to live, they deserve respect for that.

deleted 8y ago

[deleted]