> I can't shake the feeling that such 100% adherence to verbal (and even intended) yes/no is somehow like keeping people at arms length distance, emotionally.

> I can't shake the feeling that such 100% adherence to verbal (and even intended) yes/no is somehow like keeping people at arms length distance, emotionally. Absolutely it is, in almost any context. In most of those where it isn't, that's probably by design. It might even be the right move. Where the line falls varies on every single edge of your social graph, all the time. Consent to be touched, or whatever, or not, isn't blanket, but "transactional" is the term used in discussions around consent, and revocable or renegotiable. But, to your point, especially in some contexts, like flirting, the expectation is to push the boundary, not probe it. There, I think, it's very much a matter of execution. But, honestly, that's pretty speculative; I tend only to flirt well accidentally. EDIT: Phrasing.