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Wow! Can I ever see some parallels with the inverse correlation of my own inward search for meaning and my lack of contentment with life. They say that happine

Wow! Can I ever see some parallels with the inverse correlation of my own inward search for meaning and my lack of contentment with life. They say that happiness is found within, but the more time I spend looking inward, the more and more sure I become that it's not. Happiness, at least for me, is found in friendships and relationships, in human connection. The search inward may lead to many profound and philosophical insights, but so far, happiness has not been one of them.

onemoresoop 8y ago
Happiness is overrated too. One needs to be content and aware first of all. Friendships are great to have but most can't do without them because they're truly afraid of being with themselves(e.g alone)
- balabaster 8y ago
  I've spent much of my adult life feeling alone, if not physically, mentally. I think this is common in careers where we're paid to spend our time thinking. It's a hazard of our profession exacerbated by who many of us are as human beings. We found ourselves in these careers precisely because of this trait, our ability to think deeply about solutions to problems - which seems to be a net side effect of our proclivity to spend our time weighed down in our own thoughts. I wouldn't knock those who fear being alone. Enduring being alone is mentally and emotionally grueling - even if you don't shy away from it. If you're not scared of it, then either you're one of the lucky few who are resilient to it or you're not giving it the gravity it's due. Either way, I'm envious of you. I have days where I feel like my only reason to live are my friends and children. Without them I wouldn't even make it through the day. On those days, I fear being alone. Not because I'd harm myself, but because I know that it's the first step on a spiral into a depression I don't want to be consumed by again. I fear it because I've been there on more than one occasion. I fear it because I know how hard it is to drag yourself out of. If you're not truly afraid of it, you've never been there.
  - drukenemo 8y ago
    I’ve moved to another country 10 years ago and had great difficulty rebuilding my social life. After years agozining about my loneliness, I had an epiphany: it was just a primitive fear (probably of survival), and once I confronted it as a non-lethal threat, it lost its power and control over me. It’s great to have good people around you, but if this fear is dominating you, it will always be there tormenting you. My personal experience showed this doesn’t have to be the case.
nunodonato 8y ago
If it was that easy, everyone would have it ;) (source: meditation for 15+ years now)
- balabaster 8y ago
  Happiness for me is found in moments of joy and laughter. None of which in my life I've ever experienced without people to share them with. I've certainly never found that inside my own head.
  - nunodonato 8y ago
    That's ok, it's your experience :)

onemoresoop 8y ago

Happiness is overrated too. One needs to be content and aware first of all. Friendships are great to have but most can't do without them because they're truly afraid of being with themselves(e.g alone)

balabaster 8y ago
I've spent much of my adult life feeling alone, if not physically, mentally. I think this is common in careers where we're paid to spend our time thinking. It's a hazard of our profession exacerbated by who many of us are as human beings. We found ourselves in these careers precisely because of this trait, our ability to think deeply about solutions to problems - which seems to be a net side effect of our proclivity to spend our time weighed down in our own thoughts. I wouldn't knock those who fear being alone. Enduring being alone is mentally and emotionally grueling - even if you don't shy away from it. If you're not scared of it, then either you're one of the lucky few who are resilient to it or you're not giving it the gravity it's due. Either way, I'm envious of you. I have days where I feel like my only reason to live are my friends and children. Without them I wouldn't even make it through the day. On those days, I fear being alone. Not because I'd harm myself, but because I know that it's the first step on a spiral into a depression I don't want to be consumed by again. I fear it because I've been there on more than one occasion. I fear it because I know how hard it is to drag yourself out of. If you're not truly afraid of it, you've never been there.
- drukenemo 8y ago
  I’ve moved to another country 10 years ago and had great difficulty rebuilding my social life. After years agozining about my loneliness, I had an epiphany: it was just a primitive fear (probably of survival), and once I confronted it as a non-lethal threat, it lost its power and control over me. It’s great to have good people around you, but if this fear is dominating you, it will always be there tormenting you. My personal experience showed this doesn’t have to be the case.

nunodonato 8y ago

If it was that easy, everyone would have it ;) (source: meditation for 15+ years now)

balabaster 8y ago
Happiness for me is found in moments of joy and laughter. None of which in my life I've ever experienced without people to share them with. I've certainly never found that inside my own head.
- nunodonato 8y ago
  That's ok, it's your experience :)