I think the key difference is that the visit from your mother-in-law was a novel or unique experience which you might not have the emotional tools to handle. It

I think the key difference is that the visit from your mother-in-law was a novel or unique experience which you might not have the emotional tools to handle. It isn't exactly fair to compare that inexperience with what is a way of life in India. The visit may have been uncomfortable for you because of the absence of societal and cultural rules to help streamline these situations.