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I think this is an impractical first step, but for the downvoters, executive coaching – including specifically ex-mil coaching – is a real thing that people do

by RickS 8y ago

I think this is an impractical first step, but for the downvoters, executive coaching – including specifically ex-mil coaching – is a real thing that people do and get value from. If you want to get such experience without sourcing and paying a coach, read Jocko's Extreme Ownership: https://www.amazon.com/Extreme-Ownership-U-S-Navy-SEALs/dp/1250067057 https://www.amazon.com/Extreme-Ownership-U-S-Navy-SEALs/dp/1... Marc Andreessen called this out as the book he gifts most often, which IMO is a strong positive signal. I personally found the book a bit difficult, but I think that's a flaw in me more than the book. The person I received it from is someone who lives it much more fully with staggeringly impressive results.

8bithero 8y ago
Hehe, I also recommended the same book in my reply. Definitely, a must read! :p What do you mean when you say, you "found the book a bit difficult"? As in tedious to read, or difficult to implement?
- RickS 8y ago
  Difficult to implement, by way of being difficult to agree with in some places. It advocates a level of self-blame that feels like it would be effective from a self-motivation perspective but is not necessarily always reflective of reality. Of course I have responsibility for my reaction and my mindset in situations, but it seems that the book creeps into "taking the blame for everything". Though I get the feeling that fuzziness comes from my worldviews as much as Jocko's. I've got a background that involves a good amount of shame and anxiety, so I think I have problems with the distinction between feeling "responsible" for situations in the "shepherding" sense, which is what I think Jocko wants, and feeling "culpable" for situations which is what the inner voice of shame freaks out about. The difference between "culpable" (bad?) and "accountable" (good?) is a very nuanced one, and I haven't been able to fully reconcile those ideas. It reminds me of this SSC post, about different people needing different things or getting different things from books. https://slatestarcodex.com/2013/06/09/all-debates-are-bravery-debates/ https://slatestarcodex.com/2013/06/09/all-debates-are-braver... It's been a year or so since I read the book. Sounds like I need to revisit it and get some clarity on my stance.

by RickS 8y ago

8bithero 8y ago

Hehe, I also recommended the same book in my reply. Definitely, a must read! :p What do you mean when you say, you "found the book a bit difficult"? As in tedious to read, or difficult to implement?

RickS 8y ago
Difficult to implement, by way of being difficult to agree with in some places. It advocates a level of self-blame that feels like it would be effective from a self-motivation perspective but is not necessarily always reflective of reality. Of course I have responsibility for my reaction and my mindset in situations, but it seems that the book creeps into "taking the blame for everything". Though I get the feeling that fuzziness comes from my worldviews as much as Jocko's. I've got a background that involves a good amount of shame and anxiety, so I think I have problems with the distinction between feeling "responsible" for situations in the "shepherding" sense, which is what I think Jocko wants, and feeling "culpable" for situations which is what the inner voice of shame freaks out about. The difference between "culpable" (bad?) and "accountable" (good?) is a very nuanced one, and I haven't been able to fully reconcile those ideas. It reminds me of this SSC post, about different people needing different things or getting different things from books. https://slatestarcodex.com/2013/06/09/all-debates-are-bravery-debates/ https://slatestarcodex.com/2013/06/09/all-debates-are-braver... It's been a year or so since I read the book. Sounds like I need to revisit it and get some clarity on my stance.