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I just put in my notice at my current job (which I’ve only had for six months) due to an abusive boss. I’ve always been great at my job, received a lot of prais

I just put in my notice at my current job (which I’ve only had for six months) due to an abusive boss. I’ve always been great at my job, received a lot of praise for my work, and generally felt motivated to give and do way more than was asked. Not at this job. My manager’s behavior and attitude totally dragged me down and I’ve been the least motivated I’ve ever been. I’ve been depressed and stressed and basically shut down at work. Because of that, I’m going back to an old job to work for a manager who was much more positive and supportive. The adage about employees leaving managers absolutely applies in this circumstance.

selfselfself 8y ago
Been there done that... and it was the best decision I made for my career. Good luck with yours!
flashgordon 8y ago
Hey mate. Can you share some of the behaviours (while not giving away any personal details) as that would helpful for managers and employees in better identifying it and with it?
- finaliteration 8y ago
  Sure. Just a few things that stand out: - Constant criticism and nitpicking. Essentially I feel like nothing I do is right and even the smallest mistakes get a private Teams message about how I shouldn’t have done X, and then any apology from me is basically met with “Ok” as a response rather than any sort of empathy. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like small mistakes in a new position were never allowed. - Micromanaging and controlling. They referred to themselves as a “dictator” on more that one occasion and had a “my way or the highway” attitude. I was hired on at a senior level and essentially ended up with close to zero input on design choices, so basically I stopped giving my opinion because I knew it would always be met with being shut down. - I also felt singled out and was essentially told not to socialize in our Teams channels. This cut me off from the team quite a bit and made me feel totally isolated. I’d also try to suggest things globally so that knowledge could be shared and discussed with everyone. Again, I’d get a follow up message on Teams about how I shouldn’t be doing that and any suggestions like that need to be discussed with the manager first. That’s just a few things. Overall, it’s just a feeling of not having any autonomy and any attempts to gain any being shut down. I want to say they maybe feel threatened, but I don’t like to jump to that conclusion. Maybe it’s not yelling and screaming, but it’s a more passive-aggressive type of abuse and toxicity that in some ways digs deeper because it’s not easy to pick up on immediately or as visible.
  - flashgordon 8y ago
    Damn that is toxic! Thanks for sharing mate. Glad you are getting out. Hope you didn't have any Visa issues that would have made the stay unnecessarily longer. I know how stressful it is to stick at a job just because you need to. Hope your next role and manager are energizing and engaging!
    - finaliteration 8y ago
      Thanks! Fortunately I don’t have any Visa issues to deal with. Could have been a nightmare otherwise. I put my notice in last week and they terminated me early today because they didn’t “have anything left for me to do” in the next few days, which I think is code for “I’m pissed you’re leaving so I’m going to make it look like I’m in control”.

selfselfself 8y ago

Been there done that... and it was the best decision I made for my career. Good luck with yours!

flashgordon 8y ago

Hey mate. Can you share some of the behaviours (while not giving away any personal details) as that would helpful for managers and employees in better identifying it and with it?

finaliteration 8y ago
Sure. Just a few things that stand out: - Constant criticism and nitpicking. Essentially I feel like nothing I do is right and even the smallest mistakes get a private Teams message about how I shouldn’t have done X, and then any apology from me is basically met with “Ok” as a response rather than any sort of empathy. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like small mistakes in a new position were never allowed. - Micromanaging and controlling. They referred to themselves as a “dictator” on more that one occasion and had a “my way or the highway” attitude. I was hired on at a senior level and essentially ended up with close to zero input on design choices, so basically I stopped giving my opinion because I knew it would always be met with being shut down. - I also felt singled out and was essentially told not to socialize in our Teams channels. This cut me off from the team quite a bit and made me feel totally isolated. I’d also try to suggest things globally so that knowledge could be shared and discussed with everyone. Again, I’d get a follow up message on Teams about how I shouldn’t be doing that and any suggestions like that need to be discussed with the manager first. That’s just a few things. Overall, it’s just a feeling of not having any autonomy and any attempts to gain any being shut down. I want to say they maybe feel threatened, but I don’t like to jump to that conclusion. Maybe it’s not yelling and screaming, but it’s a more passive-aggressive type of abuse and toxicity that in some ways digs deeper because it’s not easy to pick up on immediately or as visible.
- flashgordon 8y ago
  Damn that is toxic! Thanks for sharing mate. Glad you are getting out. Hope you didn't have any Visa issues that would have made the stay unnecessarily longer. I know how stressful it is to stick at a job just because you need to. Hope your next role and manager are energizing and engaging!
  - finaliteration 8y ago
    Thanks! Fortunately I don’t have any Visa issues to deal with. Could have been a nightmare otherwise. I put my notice in last week and they terminated me early today because they didn’t “have anything left for me to do” in the next few days, which I think is code for “I’m pissed you’re leaving so I’m going to make it look like I’m in control”.