4 ms·

I'm not the OP but I have noticed something while not new to online dating, something that online dating (and perhaps social media) has accelerated. For most p

I'm not the OP but I have noticed something while not new to online dating, something that online dating (and perhaps social media) has accelerated. For most people the list of people that would have sex with you is longer than the list of people who would seriously date/marry you. This is especially true of women but is also true with men. The commitment of dating someone has a number of social implications that don't exist in a semi anonymous one night stand. Previously an individual had to go out to a bar and luck upon someone who was willing to have casual sex (and sometimes that turned into a relationship) now you can effectively visit every bar in town in a few minutes, several times a day. Due to the nature of this and social media perfectionism I believe that individuals are setting the bar for mates higher than is reasonable in contrast to what they have to offer. They equate the attractiveness (this isn't just physical, it also includes personality type and other factors) of one night stands with level of attractiveness they would acquire in a relationship. Due to this many people have unrealistic standards, after a time they choose to "settle" and have dysfunctional relationships due to the fact they perceive themselves as "settling" as opposed to choosing a mate on a equal footing. Had those one night stands been more difficult to acquire, the bar may of not been moved so high and they may have more functional relationships down the road. Just a theory of course, but something I'm been noticing.

magduf 8y ago
I'm not following; are you saying that it's easier to have a ONS now? Maybe I'm too old or not skilled at that or something, but in my age group (I'm dating 30-45yo women) I've had tons of 1st dates, but I've only come across maybe 1 or 2 women who I think I could talked my way into bed with for a ONS (and I wasn't interested). All the women who date me definitely seem like they're looking for a new husband. And they frequently seem to have ridiculously high standards there.
- fuzz4lyfe 8y ago
  > I'm not following; are you saying that it's easier to have a ONS now? I'm married man, but I grew up when online dating just started, when I was in high school we used AIM to meet girls. I would meet up with girls in different school districts that I would of never met a few years prior. I'm told from young men a bit younger than I that's it's even easier than that now. Highly attractive young men can not leave their house all day and still meet several new women sometimes from hours away. My feeling is that's going to have some sort of effect on the culture as those young people settle down into more stable relationships as often happens.

magduf 8y ago

I'm not following; are you saying that it's easier to have a ONS now? Maybe I'm too old or not skilled at that or something, but in my age group (I'm dating 30-45yo women) I've had tons of 1st dates, but I've only come across maybe 1 or 2 women who I think I could talked my way into bed with for a ONS (and I wasn't interested). All the women who date me definitely seem like they're looking for a new husband. And they frequently seem to have ridiculously high standards there.

fuzz4lyfe 8y ago
> I'm not following; are you saying that it's easier to have a ONS now? I'm married man, but I grew up when online dating just started, when I was in high school we used AIM to meet girls. I would meet up with girls in different school districts that I would of never met a few years prior. I'm told from young men a bit younger than I that's it's even easier than that now. Highly attractive young men can not leave their house all day and still meet several new women sometimes from hours away. My feeling is that's going to have some sort of effect on the culture as those young people settle down into more stable relationships as often happens.