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would you elaborate more on transactions of authority, or perhaps provide a link to a resource where i can learn more, zach?

zach 16y ago
Sure. Transactions of authority are those things we all know are there -- these stepping stones towards building a relationship. Okay, first, "authority" has cultural baggage, because "authority" sounds formal and institutional and the thing you're supposed to question. But it also embraces opinion, influence and respect. It's the same word as trustedness, so if you want you could use that, but I'll stick with authority. So on one side, there is some measure of vulnerability, as you said. It could be very small, like asking a question. It's anything that contradicts the thesis that "I know what's right, I can do it and I don't need you." Asking a question, asking for help, offering an opinion for validation, revealing one's own flaws or willingly showing incompetence are all acts which negate that thesis. On the other side, there needs to be a willingness to accept the truthfulness of the transaction and the responsibility of bearing the costs involved in completing the transaction. If it's something I can do that makes me feel good about myself, helps someone I love and doesn't cost me much, I am going to be thrilled to do it. If it's someone I don't know asking me to go buy booze for them in a 7-Eleven with a $100 bill, not so much. But trust is the number one factor, and the first step up in trust is huge. Going from zero (complete stranger) to ten (decent person I don't know) is a lot easier than going from ten to twenty. That's why first impression, and particularly the first transaction of authority, is huge, because if you go to negative ten first, you are in a serious hole. If you're a website, that's when the user goes for the back button anyway. Understanding how to build a relationship is understanding how and when to handle these transactions of authority. This is why rejection therapy is a useful exercise -- the one who gets rejected knows how far to jump next time better than the one who never skips a step. This also provides a framework for understanding what are otherwise "social hacks" as constructive, proper and polite ways to interact. It's useful to know that "can I cut in line so I can make some copies" is not just exploiting some neurobug but offering a different transaction -- Can I offer you the status of "someone who helped me out when I was unable to do something all by myself" in exchange for a cut in line? You can even argue Ben Franklin was being polite rather than a jerk when he asked to borrow a book from someone he wanted to build a relationship with. Even though he didn't really care about the book, and it was a tactic, he was offering a polite transaction and was building a friendly relationship, which he at least always saw as a greater good. I'm not sure about that one, but you can at least see the broader context this way. Transactions of authority are what build a relationship not just between two people but in communities. Similarity is nice, but even small transactions of authority are better.
- zackattack 16y ago
  This is excellent. Is this your original theory? I would like to read about it in greater detail because I have some questions.
  - zach 16y ago
    Thank you for the encouragement. It's just my own way of making sense of the world but I hadn't actually fleshed it out in writing before. I do have a blog that I recently rebooted at Posterous but I tend to talk on HN much more than I blog!
    - zackattack 16y ago
      i would like to formally encourage you to express your ideas in a blog post. you may find it to be useful to yourself and others would certainly benefit from it. i know your perspective would certainly inform my cognitive models.

zach 16y ago

Sure. Transactions of authority are those things we all know are there -- these stepping stones towards building a relationship. Okay, first, "authority" has cultural baggage, because "authority" sounds formal and institutional and the thing you're supposed to question. But it also embraces opinion, influence and respect. It's the same word as trustedness, so if you want you could use that, but I'll stick with authority. So on one side, there is some measure of vulnerability, as you said. It could be very small, like asking a question. It's anything that contradicts the thesis that "I know what's right, I can do it and I don't need you." Asking a question, asking for help, offering an opinion for validation, revealing one's own flaws or willingly showing incompetence are all acts which negate that thesis. On the other side, there needs to be a willingness to accept the truthfulness of the transaction and the responsibility of bearing the costs involved in completing the transaction. If it's something I can do that makes me feel good about myself, helps someone I love and doesn't cost me much, I am going to be thrilled to do it. If it's someone I don't know asking me to go buy booze for them in a 7-Eleven with a $100 bill, not so much. But trust is the number one factor, and the first step up in trust is huge. Going from zero (complete stranger) to ten (decent person I don't know) is a lot easier than going from ten to twenty. That's why first impression, and particularly the first transaction of authority, is huge, because if you go to negative ten first, you are in a serious hole. If you're a website, that's when the user goes for the back button anyway. Understanding how to build a relationship is understanding how and when to handle these transactions of authority. This is why rejection therapy is a useful exercise -- the one who gets rejected knows how far to jump next time better than the one who never skips a step. This also provides a framework for understanding what are otherwise "social hacks" as constructive, proper and polite ways to interact. It's useful to know that "can I cut in line so I can make some copies" is not just exploiting some neurobug but offering a different transaction -- Can I offer you the status of "someone who helped me out when I was unable to do something all by myself" in exchange for a cut in line? You can even argue Ben Franklin was being polite rather than a jerk when he asked to borrow a book from someone he wanted to build a relationship with. Even though he didn't really care about the book, and it was a tactic, he was offering a polite transaction and was building a friendly relationship, which he at least always saw as a greater good. I'm not sure about that one, but you can at least see the broader context this way. Transactions of authority are what build a relationship not just between two people but in communities. Similarity is nice, but even small transactions of authority are better.

zackattack 16y ago
This is excellent. Is this your original theory? I would like to read about it in greater detail because I have some questions.
- zach 16y ago
  Thank you for the encouragement. It's just my own way of making sense of the world but I hadn't actually fleshed it out in writing before. I do have a blog that I recently rebooted at Posterous but I tend to talk on HN much more than I blog!
  - zackattack 16y ago
    i would like to formally encourage you to express your ideas in a blog post. you may find it to be useful to yourself and others would certainly benefit from it. i know your perspective would certainly inform my cognitive models.