5 ms·

Exactly this. They are buying a fantasy, a dream. Who wants a $500 dream? They are only doing this once and it is the most important day of their entire life so

Exactly this. They are buying a fantasy, a dream. Who wants a $500 dream? They are only doing this once and it is the most important day of their entire life so money should be no object!

ekovarski 8y ago
Even the "doing this once" is us giving into our emotions and assuming that absolutely nothing can go wrong in marriage. “Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert
- landryraccoon 8y ago
  Engaged couples have to give in to those emotions though, or the entire fiction of marriage falls apart. If people seriously thought the risk of a marriage going wrong was significant why would they ever get married? So anyone who actually goes through with the wedding has to be completely emotionally all in already. Arguing against giving into emotions is tantamount to arguing they shouldn't get married in the first place.
  - astura 8y ago
    I don't think this is accurate. The risk of business failure is similar to the risk of divorce yet people don't consider starting a business a "fiction entirely based on irrational emotions." It's not, just like marriage is not. And since more unmarried couples split up than married couples, you're actually arguing against romantic relationships entirely. Using this logic, since you usually lose touch with many friends over the years, why have friends at all then? You're probably going to outlive your pet, so why get a pet at all if it's just going to die? Just because something ends doesn't mean it wasn't worth it for the time it lasted and even if it wasn't, taking some risk isn't entirely irrational.
    - ekovarski 8y ago
      +1
    - landryraccoon 8y ago
      I’m actually very sympathetic to your views, but I also don’t think that mainstream culture agrees with this at all. Take a look at these wedding vows, which I think are still representative : https://allseasonsweddings.com/wedding-ceremonies-readings/traditional-wedding-vow-full https://allseasonsweddings.com/wedding-ceremonies-readings/t... Do you think it’s at all common that engaged couples would be happy to give up the vow of lifelong commitment (literally until death) or that mainstream culture would agree with you? I highly doubt it. Whatever the pragmatic view you support, neither marriage vows, romantic comedies, disney movies or religion seems to go along with it.
AnimalMuppet 8y ago
I don't want a dream. I want a reality. I don't want one day; I want a lifetime. The point of a wedding is to get married, not to have a wedding. The building we got married in has been torn down. I lost my original wedding ring. The cake is long gone. My wife's dress sits in a cedar chest and has never been worn again. The developer lost our honeymoon pictures. Our marriage is still here. I think maybe the focus on the day can be a distraction from the lifetime. The day isn't what's going to make your marriage work.

Exactly this. They are buying a fantasy, a dream. Who wants a $500 dream? They are only doing this once and it is the most important day of their entire life so money should be no object!

ekovarski 8y ago

Even the "doing this once" is us giving into our emotions and assuming that absolutely nothing can go wrong in marriage. “Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert

landryraccoon 8y ago
Engaged couples have to give in to those emotions though, or the entire fiction of marriage falls apart. If people seriously thought the risk of a marriage going wrong was significant why would they ever get married? So anyone who actually goes through with the wedding has to be completely emotionally all in already. Arguing against giving into emotions is tantamount to arguing they shouldn't get married in the first place.
- astura 8y ago
  I don't think this is accurate. The risk of business failure is similar to the risk of divorce yet people don't consider starting a business a "fiction entirely based on irrational emotions." It's not, just like marriage is not. And since more unmarried couples split up than married couples, you're actually arguing against romantic relationships entirely. Using this logic, since you usually lose touch with many friends over the years, why have friends at all then? You're probably going to outlive your pet, so why get a pet at all if it's just going to die? Just because something ends doesn't mean it wasn't worth it for the time it lasted and even if it wasn't, taking some risk isn't entirely irrational.
  - ekovarski 8y ago
    +1
  - landryraccoon 8y ago
    I’m actually very sympathetic to your views, but I also don’t think that mainstream culture agrees with this at all. Take a look at these wedding vows, which I think are still representative : https://allseasonsweddings.com/wedding-ceremonies-readings/traditional-wedding-vow-full https://allseasonsweddings.com/wedding-ceremonies-readings/t... Do you think it’s at all common that engaged couples would be happy to give up the vow of lifelong commitment (literally until death) or that mainstream culture would agree with you? I highly doubt it. Whatever the pragmatic view you support, neither marriage vows, romantic comedies, disney movies or religion seems to go along with it.

AnimalMuppet 8y ago

I don't want a dream. I want a reality. I don't want one day; I want a lifetime. The point of a wedding is to get married, not to have a wedding. The building we got married in has been torn down. I lost my original wedding ring. The cake is long gone. My wife's dress sits in a cedar chest and has never been worn again. The developer lost our honeymoon pictures. Our marriage is still here. I think maybe the focus on the day can be a distraction from the lifetime. The day isn't what's going to make your marriage work.