4 ms·

Aww, I hoped for a talk about presenting the minimal needed personality as an introverted coworker to his team.

by bebna 8y ago

ebiester 8y ago
That's both easy and hard. It's not that extroverts are magically better than a neurotypical introvert, but rather that extroverts have had more practice. The irony is that I can see an introvert be quite extroverted during a D&D session, because it's a place they have practiced their social skills. For neurotypical people, I don't believe in extroverts versus introverts per se, but rather practiced with a social group versus unpracticed. For most people, authenticity and vulnerability is the way to go. I am a goofball, and I present as such. I've brought juggling balls to standup (and also juggled remotely) and people smile. (I'm not a great juggler.) My coworkers know that I don't watch much TV or movies because I don't like them, so they can do all the spoilers without worrying about me. When showing your personality, it's about what to hold back rather than presenting something that isn't part of you. (For example, if your personality involves illegal activities, that shouldn't show up at work.) Personality should never be about presenting something you're not. Be you to everyone, just not all of you. But don't try to be something that is not you. Fortunately, the rest is just observation and practice.
- johnday 8y ago
  I worry about this framing, because it suggests that what I (and many other people who I have spoken to) experience, is somehow atypical. I have no objection to talking to people, and I have groups of friends who I like talking to and engage with well. They're going out this evening and I'm not. Why? It's not because I don't like them, or because I don't "gel" with them - it's because it's the end of the week, and social interaction is a tiring event for me. I find it nearly impossible to concentrate on other people or what they are saying, and it only becomes more difficult over time. It's not about practice. To address your comment on D&D, the reason introverted people are more engaged and outspoken during a game is because that is what the game demands. If you were to ask such a person, they would say it is fun, of course, but tiring - and I know that because I am much the same way when I play D&D.

Aww, I hoped for a talk about presenting the minimal needed personality as an introverted coworker to his team.

by bebna 8y ago

Aww, I hoped for a talk about presenting the minimal needed personality as an introverted coworker to his team.

That's both easy and hard. It's not that extroverts are magically better than a neurotypical introvert, but rather that extroverts have had more practice. The irony is that I can see an introvert be quite extroverted during a D&D session, because it's a place they have practiced their social skills. For neurotypical people, I don't believe in extroverts versus introverts per se, but rather practiced with a social group versus unpracticed. For most people, authenticity and vulnerability is the way to go. I am a goofball, and I present as such. I've brought juggling balls to standup (and also juggled remotely) and people smile. (I'm not a great juggler.) My coworkers know that I don't watch much TV or movies because I don't like them, so they can do all the spoilers without worrying about me. When showing your personality, it's about what to hold back rather than presenting something that isn't part of you. (For example, if your personality involves illegal activities, that shouldn't show up at work.) Personality should never be about presenting something you're not. Be you to everyone, just not all of you. But don't try to be something that is not you. Fortunately, the rest is just observation and practice.

johnday 8y ago
I worry about this framing, because it suggests that what I (and many other people who I have spoken to) experience, is somehow atypical. I have no objection to talking to people, and I have groups of friends who I like talking to and engage with well. They're going out this evening and I'm not. Why? It's not because I don't like them, or because I don't "gel" with them - it's because it's the end of the week, and social interaction is a tiring event for me. I find it nearly impossible to concentrate on other people or what they are saying, and it only becomes more difficult over time. It's not about practice. To address your comment on D&D, the reason introverted people are more engaged and outspoken during a game is because that is what the game demands. If you were to ask such a person, they would say it is fun, of course, but tiring - and I know that because I am much the same way when I play D&D.