Fun 1-month social experiment Carry around a notepad. Week 1: Every time you say "but", make a mark. Don't try to change anything, just keep track. Week 2:

Fun 1-month social experiment Carry around a notepad. Week 1: Every time you say "but", make a mark. Don't try to change anything, just keep track. Week 2: try to not say "but", ever. For weeks 3 and 4, do the same thing, but with commas. Periods are more powerful than commas. Weak: "Look, to be honest, I don't know why the server crashed, but I'm doing what I can to find out." Strong: "I don't know why the server crashed. I'm working on finding out." Weak: "I'm not saying the deal's off, but unless we can sort out clauses 3 and 4, I don't see how we can move forward." Strong: "Clauses 3 and 4 are blockers. I would like to figure them out so we can move forward." Weak: "I'm not saying your brother is fat or lazy, just that he could do with some more exercise and maybe get a job." Strong: "Your brother is fat and lazy. He should get a job and lose weight." Weak: "I know it's none of my business, but she could do a lot better." Strong: "I don't like her boyfriend. Luckily we're grownups and don't have to agree on everything." For every person who is shocked and offended by this approach, two people will respect and trust you for it. It's a net win.