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I had a grandfather dementia. Whenever we had to leave from visiting him, he would remark that we "just got here!". His short term memory was less than 5 minut
by peterlk 8y ago
I had a grandfather dementia. Whenever we had to leave from visiting him, he would remark that we "just got here!". His short term memory was less than 5 minutes, so he would start the "but you just got here" bit by the time we had finished saying goodbye and were headed toward the car. This loop would happen several times with sincere emotion in his face, until we would just say something like, "we'll be right back" and just leave.
- mirimir 8y agoWas he perhaps in a nursing home? If so, maybe he was just terrified of being left alone. Many years ago, I turned a girlfriend on to LSD. She loved it, and wanted more the next day. I told her that she ought to wait a few days, for the tolerance to fade. But she was adamant. So we did maybe 2-3 doses, and she was still unsatisfied with the peak. And -- dumbass that I was -- I suggested that we smoke some marijuana. That was a serious mistake. Because our short-term memory dropped to 30 seconds or so. I was cool with that, staring at the patterns in everything. But she was not. So I spent perhaps 3-4 hours reminding her that she was just wasted on acid and dope, and that she'd be fine tomorrow. And she was. Except that she was no longer my girlfriend. But whatever. Maybe you could have just reminded your grandfather that his short-term memory was hosed. And then assured him that you'd be back next week.
- deleted 8y ago[deleted]
- b1r6 8y agoWow seems a little unfair of her to dump you due to the results of purely her own demands.
- scott_s 8y agoPart of the dementia is that you lose the metacognition to understand that your short-term memory is hosed. We don't just become forgetful. We lose cognitive capacity. We're not ourselves minus the ability to remember things. We slowly become a different person.
- mirimir 8y agoMaybe so. I guess that I'll find out.
- scott_s 8y agoMy point is that you will not.
- mirimir 8y agoWell, I already know that my short-term memory is somewhat hosed. So for stuff that matters to me, I leave myself notes. And for stuff that doesn't matter to me, I just forget. And that's actually better, in a way, because I'm more focused. And less distracted by guilt or whatever.