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Oh, I wasn't talking about me (in that paragraph). Maybe it wasn't clear. (If you want, we can talk about me, I have no problems with that - I think I am unusu

by rofo1 8y ago

Oh, I wasn't talking about me (in that paragraph). Maybe it wasn't clear. (If you want, we can talk about me, I have no problems with that - I think I am unusually lucky in this department though :), based on everything I see around. But I also spent my life building quality relationships with people, even before I really know what I was doing) It's something I've noted that people do. It might just be my surroundings. It was mostly generalized, but if I do this exercise in my head - think about all people I know, all relationships between them (friends, romantic, etc.), I still end up with the same conclusion. People are really not that nice to each other, so it's no wonder that the mental health would be suffering as this study portraits. From the people that I know, the ones I think are really honest, good, well-mannered people, they all seem to struggle relationship-wise. And precisely those ones are deemed as too difficult, etc. even though they aren't that much different. Ah, it seems as it is really sensitive topic :)

CydeWeys 8y ago
I don't know why my perception of the world seems so different, but my view of things is that people are generally nice to each other, and for the most part I can get along with anyone that I cross paths with in daily life (even if I wouldn't exactly want to be friends with them).
- Mirioron 8y ago
  You don't usually disagree with people or confront them with a different set of beliefs. If you do that then even if you're gentle you'll find a lot of vitriol being thrown at you. Just look at political discourse online. Go to a left wing subreddit and try making some (reasonable) right wing points. You'll probably get a lot of undue flak.
  - CydeWeys 8y ago
    I'm talking about real life, not arguing on the Internet. Of course if you seek out arguments on the Internet, then you will find them. Also, I'm sure our definition of reasonable differs.
  - owenversteeg 8y ago
    Ah, come on. Making generalizations about the entire world (population: 7,600,000,000) based on some subreddits? Or even a subset of online political arguments? Look, if you get out there, and talk politics with people in person, in real life, you'll find that people are pretty reasonable. Their beliefs may be strange, but those are shaped by a massive amount of powerful outside factors. Yes, you have to go into it with an open mind, and find how to phrase your ideas in a way that they don't sound like an attack on the other person, but it's not too hard. I have strong as well as unusual political beliefs, which you would imagine to be a problem. But of hundreds of political discussions, I've managed to have a reasonable discussion perhaps 98% of the time. I've talked with people who have political beliefs as radical as you can imagine: not simply hardcore Trump and Hillary supporters, but also people who: - want to kill anyone who owns a business - think <insert group here> is subhuman - are strong anarcho-capitalists - want to kill anyone who is <thing I am> - support political executions - think the world is controlled by an elite cabal of actors Admittedly, most of these conversations are over hours or days, not years - if I was, say, roommates with them then I imagine things would be a bit trickier. But still, I've had long friendships with people who have very, very radical political beliefs in the opposite direction from mine.
owenversteeg 8y ago
> From the people that I know, the ones I think are really honest, good, well-mannered people, they all seem to struggle relationship-wise. And precisely those ones are deemed as too difficult, etc. even though they aren't that much different. Hmm. That really doesn't match my experience. I'm lucky enough to know a handful of people who are really pure, kind, good-hearted people, and they all seem to get through life pretty well. Sure, some of them have endured severe challenges in life, but those would have happened regardless of who they were as a person (mostly not "winning the lottery at birth" aka growing up poorer or in the "wrong" place.) Yes, people consider them different, but they consider them different in a good way, and they are very loved people. I suspect that it's a number of other factors causing what you've seen. Ultimately, I just don't understand - why would most of the world dislike a good person because they're a good person? That seems like a really strange world.

by rofo1 8y ago

CydeWeys 8y ago

I don't know why my perception of the world seems so different, but my view of things is that people are generally nice to each other, and for the most part I can get along with anyone that I cross paths with in daily life (even if I wouldn't exactly want to be friends with them).

Mirioron 8y ago
You don't usually disagree with people or confront them with a different set of beliefs. If you do that then even if you're gentle you'll find a lot of vitriol being thrown at you. Just look at political discourse online. Go to a left wing subreddit and try making some (reasonable) right wing points. You'll probably get a lot of undue flak.
- CydeWeys 8y ago
  I'm talking about real life, not arguing on the Internet. Of course if you seek out arguments on the Internet, then you will find them. Also, I'm sure our definition of reasonable differs.
- owenversteeg 8y ago
  Ah, come on. Making generalizations about the entire world (population: 7,600,000,000) based on some subreddits? Or even a subset of online political arguments? Look, if you get out there, and talk politics with people in person, in real life, you'll find that people are pretty reasonable. Their beliefs may be strange, but those are shaped by a massive amount of powerful outside factors. Yes, you have to go into it with an open mind, and find how to phrase your ideas in a way that they don't sound like an attack on the other person, but it's not too hard. I have strong as well as unusual political beliefs, which you would imagine to be a problem. But of hundreds of political discussions, I've managed to have a reasonable discussion perhaps 98% of the time. I've talked with people who have political beliefs as radical as you can imagine: not simply hardcore Trump and Hillary supporters, but also people who: - want to kill anyone who owns a business - think <insert group here> is subhuman - are strong anarcho-capitalists - want to kill anyone who is <thing I am> - support political executions - think the world is controlled by an elite cabal of actors Admittedly, most of these conversations are over hours or days, not years - if I was, say, roommates with them then I imagine things would be a bit trickier. But still, I've had long friendships with people who have very, very radical political beliefs in the opposite direction from mine.

owenversteeg 8y ago

> From the people that I know, the ones I think are really honest, good, well-mannered people, they all seem to struggle relationship-wise. And precisely those ones are deemed as too difficult, etc. even though they aren't that much different. Hmm. That really doesn't match my experience. I'm lucky enough to know a handful of people who are really pure, kind, good-hearted people, and they all seem to get through life pretty well. Sure, some of them have endured severe challenges in life, but those would have happened regardless of who they were as a person (mostly not "winning the lottery at birth" aka growing up poorer or in the "wrong" place.) Yes, people consider them different, but they consider them different in a good way, and they are very loved people. I suspect that it's a number of other factors causing what you've seen. Ultimately, I just don't understand - why would most of the world dislike a good person because they're a good person? That seems like a really strange world.