gvfs does some of what you ask. I guess you could trick open() with LD_PRELOAD. For the dbus/polkit authentication prompts, I've seen it work on the command li

gvfs does some of what you ask. I guess you could trick open() with LD_PRELOAD. For the dbus/polkit authentication prompts, I've seen it work on the command line but have no idea how it works. If anyone wants to donate, I'll spend a day and half a bottle of good whiskey and come out with a blog post.