5 ms·

This just seems ridiculous. I post a lot of videos of my daughter to share with my family and friends, and generally don't care who looks at them any more than

This just seems ridiculous. I post a lot of videos of my daughter to share with my family and friends, and generally don't care who looks at them any more than I care who looks at her (or what they are thinking) when we are in public. I've gotten a couple creepy comments here and there from random people who found them. (the comments weren't overtly sexual though, but I deleted them anyway) Here's an example of a harmless one that got such comments (note that my daughter is the one in the jeans, I tried to be careful when shooting it regarding the girl in the skirt): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1p21NMw54Y0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1p21NMw54Y0 I also notice that video has 10 times the number of views as the rest of the videos of her, presumably because of the title. I had a couple videos from when she was younger and wearing diapers and a shirt when she was wading in the bay, and got a comment from someone who wanted to know what brand of diapers she was wearing. (wtf?) I deleted the comment of course, but a while later I see that YouTube has deleted the video for "inappropriate content" (double wtf). I mean, she was more covered up than if she was wearing a two piece bathing suit. The thing is, even if someone is a perv and gets off on this sort of thing, it isn't endangering her. I'm not going to lose sleep over it. If I am really that worried about protecting her from pedophiles, I probably shouldn't take her anywhere in public, where someone could follow us home or otherwise directly cause her harm. I'm not going to live my life in that kind of fear.

malvosenior 8y ago
Can I ask why you would make those videos public, instead of private and sharing them with just people you know?
- robbrown451 8y ago
  Because a few people subscribe (family and friends), and I put them in a playlist, and so on. I mean, I don't care. She's just playing at the playground. I didn't think about it at the time, I guess I could, but I don't see why it matters. If I was concerned about anything, it would be about creepy people seeing her in the real world.
  - deleted 8y ago
    [deleted]
  - psychometry 8y ago
    After reading all of your comments hear, the only image I can form of you is a a guy with his hands over his ears yelling "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" You need to wise up. Before you read this article, you were naïve like many parents, but now you're just being wilfully ignorant by continuing to defend these videos being public.
  - bduerst 8y ago
    Based on that use case, you would probably be better of using a product like Google Photos instead of Youtube, since the latter is more for publicly broadcasting. Just my 2 cents.
    - robbrown451 8y ago
      Google photos is awful. I do use it (in fact that is where my videos go by default), but sharing stuff isn't a good experience. If I was worried about the public seeing stuff, I'd just make things unlisted, and sometimes I do.
diminoten 8y ago
> The thing is, even if someone is a perv and gets off on this sort of thing, it isn't endangering her. Careful with that idea, it's some pretty enablist shit, and you most frequently hear it coming from the perverts themselves.
- AnaniasAnanas 8y ago
  What matters is if it is wrong or not, not who says it.
  - diminoten 8y ago
    Yes, hence the "is enablist shit"... And no, being lumped in with pedophiles matters. I am trying to warn him who he sounds like, not making a rational argument against his position. It's up to him to decide if he wants to sound like a pedophile.
    - robbrown451 8y ago
      Well I'm talking about how I prioritize decisions about protecting my own daughter from harm from others, not about whether it is ok for me to look at / think about other people's daughters. Given that, if I sound like a pedophile, to me that says more about the listener than the speaker.
      - diminoten 8y ago
        Probably, but the listener may also be a judge, or the parents of the kids your daughter plays with, or someone else who has a material effect on the quality of your life.
        deleted 8y ago
        [deleted]
        robbrown451 8y ago
        Yup, spent my time in front of judges. Self represented, up against nasty lawyers, solid week long trial. If this was a thing that could be used against me, I assure you, it would have. It wasn't, and I was awarded primary custody.
kelnos 8y ago
While certainly child predators are an issue, I don't even need to consider this sort of thing from that angle. Why do you need to post publicly rather than marking it as unlisted and sharing the link with people you know and trust? Would you personally like to have a video posted of you in your underwear? Even if that's okay with you, perhaps your daughter will grow up preferring to have a more private life, and to keep things like that off the internet? But you've taken that choice away from her. One of my favorite articles on this topic: https://slate.com/technology/2013/09/facebook-privacy-and-kids-dont-post-photos-of-your-kids-online.html https://slate.com/technology/2013/09/facebook-privacy-and-ki... (and a follow-up, after the author was informed that she had unwittingly allowed some photos of her daughter out onto the internet: https://slate.com/technology/2013/09/privacy-facebook-kids-dont-post-photos-of-your-kids-on-social-media.html https://slate.com/technology/2013/09/privacy-facebook-kids-d...). I don't know that I'd go as far as she has, creating a sort of "digital account trust", but I do like the approach of keeping a kid's private life off the internet until they're old enough to decide how much they want to share.
- robbrown451 8y ago
  As far as underwear goes, no I wouldn't care if I was under age 3 in the photo. Seeing a kid in a diaper is an everyday public thing. In that case, she was in a diaper rather than a bathing suit because she was still diaper age. I don't see it remotely as something to be embarrassed about. I don't "need" to post publicly but I also have no reason not to. I'm not going to let people having creepy thoughts control my life, unless there is an actual, tangible danger of harm. Honestly, if I was worried about creeps, I wouldn't let her wear a skirt in public. I see other girls at the playground all the time that make me wince a bit...I'm far more likely to dress my daughter in pants. But at the end of the day, I'm 1000 times more concerned about people in real life than on YouTube....because they are right there.
  - kelnos 8y ago
    > As far as underwear goes, no I wouldn't care if I was under age 3 in the photo. Clarification, though: I was talking about you-the-adult, not some hypothetical video of you from when you were 3. Maybe you would be ok with that. That's fine. You're an adult and can decide for yourself what you want to post online about yourself. (I personally do not want videos of my 37-year-old self in my underwear on the internet, but that's just me.) Anyway, as I initially said, I'm not even talking about creeps here. I, personally, as an adult, would not want photos/videos of me as a child floating around on the internet. It's not a matter of embarrassment or safety, it's just that I don't want my life to be public to that degree. But hey, you can always argue that I'm an adult, and I didn't grow up with always-on internet connectivity (or, really, much in the way of internet connectivity at all until I was in high school), so maybe my opinion doesn't count, because culture and social expectations are different now. But... they're not, really, at least not universally so. There are people who are children right now who are uncomfortable with this[0]. The linked article also mentions, for balance's sake, some kids who enjoy having a ton of information about them online. But that's the thing: you can always put more information about yourself online, but once it's there, it's very hard (sometimes impossible) to take it back. Parents who share things about their kids online rob them of the agency to decide for themselves how private they want to be. That's just fact, regardless of what you've decided. [0] https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2019/02/when-kids-realize-their-whole-life-already-online/582916/ https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2019/02/when-...
movedx 8y ago
I personally think you're missing the point of the article. The content of your videos (based on the example you gave) are harmless. Adorable, in fact. You have a beautiful daughter - congrats. Sadly you're missing the point that you did the uploading, not her. The article is about children, I'd say around 11-14 in age on average, possibly late teens too, uploading videos of themselves... themselves. And the videos are adorable videos of them down the park in jeans, they're videos of them in bikinis in their bedrooms. Some of them are videos of them sucking on lollipops... I mean really? Also, the videos being uploading are flags. They're used to signal to pedophiles: there's other content available outside of this video. They're guiding lights for people who wanted darker content. Your videos are just your videos, and you moderate them. It's not the same thing at all.
- robbrown451 8y ago
  > You have a beautiful daughter - congrats. Creep!!! Just kidding.... Thanks, she's the best. :) Point taken. I get a bit defensive here and there, and I guess what I'm more defensive about is reflected more here in the comments, where people are so quick to shame parents for not being so worried about things that I think are non-issues. (note that I am a bit of an outlier at Hacker News, in that I am in general not particularly concerned about privacy...in the sense that I don't worry about, say, Amazon following me around the web because they have figured out that I am in the market for digital pianos and skateboard parts)
underwater 8y ago
> The thing is, even if someone is a perv and gets off on this sort of thing, it isn't endangering her. I'm not going to lose sleep over it. But... it's a video of her, not of you. Is she going to lose sleep over it if in five years she goes on YouTube and discovers someone has cloned and monetized the video, and a bunch of creeps have commented on it?
- robbrown451 8y ago
  Well I'm her parent and I get to make such decisions for now. That's how it works. If I had any concern whatsoever that she might be embarrassed about something I post, I'd take that into consideration, but I'm not. Someone could video her at a playground, and post it on YouTube. Should I not take her to the playground out of fear of that? Honestly, I think I'm probably more concerned than most other parents, since they put their daughters in skirts and let them play on the monkeybars, while I tend to dress her in pants when she is going to be doing that sort of thing. But it's probably more out of concern for other dads, who (thanks to all the hand wringing about this sort of thing) tend to feel like everyone is on the lookout for someone who is creepy.

malvosenior 8y ago

Can I ask why you would make those videos public, instead of private and sharing them with just people you know?

robbrown451 8y ago
Because a few people subscribe (family and friends), and I put them in a playlist, and so on. I mean, I don't care. She's just playing at the playground. I didn't think about it at the time, I guess I could, but I don't see why it matters. If I was concerned about anything, it would be about creepy people seeing her in the real world.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
- psychometry 8y ago
  After reading all of your comments hear, the only image I can form of you is a a guy with his hands over his ears yelling "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" You need to wise up. Before you read this article, you were naïve like many parents, but now you're just being wilfully ignorant by continuing to defend these videos being public.
- bduerst 8y ago
  Based on that use case, you would probably be better of using a product like Google Photos instead of Youtube, since the latter is more for publicly broadcasting. Just my 2 cents.
  - robbrown451 8y ago
    Google photos is awful. I do use it (in fact that is where my videos go by default), but sharing stuff isn't a good experience. If I was worried about the public seeing stuff, I'd just make things unlisted, and sometimes I do.

diminoten 8y ago

> The thing is, even if someone is a perv and gets off on this sort of thing, it isn't endangering her. Careful with that idea, it's some pretty enablist shit, and you most frequently hear it coming from the perverts themselves.

AnaniasAnanas 8y ago
What matters is if it is wrong or not, not who says it.
- diminoten 8y ago
  Yes, hence the "is enablist shit"... And no, being lumped in with pedophiles matters. I am trying to warn him who he sounds like, not making a rational argument against his position. It's up to him to decide if he wants to sound like a pedophile.
  - robbrown451 8y ago
    Well I'm talking about how I prioritize decisions about protecting my own daughter from harm from others, not about whether it is ok for me to look at / think about other people's daughters. Given that, if I sound like a pedophile, to me that says more about the listener than the speaker.
    - diminoten 8y ago
      Probably, but the listener may also be a judge, or the parents of the kids your daughter plays with, or someone else who has a material effect on the quality of your life.
      - deleted 8y ago
        [deleted]
      - robbrown451 8y ago
        Yup, spent my time in front of judges. Self represented, up against nasty lawyers, solid week long trial. If this was a thing that could be used against me, I assure you, it would have. It wasn't, and I was awarded primary custody.

kelnos 8y ago

While certainly child predators are an issue, I don't even need to consider this sort of thing from that angle. Why do you need to post publicly rather than marking it as unlisted and sharing the link with people you know and trust? Would you personally like to have a video posted of you in your underwear? Even if that's okay with you, perhaps your daughter will grow up preferring to have a more private life, and to keep things like that off the internet? But you've taken that choice away from her. One of my favorite articles on this topic: https://slate.com/technology/2013/09/facebook-privacy-and-kids-dont-post-photos-of-your-kids-online.html https://slate.com/technology/2013/09/facebook-privacy-and-ki... (and a follow-up, after the author was informed that she had unwittingly allowed some photos of her daughter out onto the internet: https://slate.com/technology/2013/09/privacy-facebook-kids-dont-post-photos-of-your-kids-on-social-media.html https://slate.com/technology/2013/09/privacy-facebook-kids-d...). I don't know that I'd go as far as she has, creating a sort of "digital account trust", but I do like the approach of keeping a kid's private life off the internet until they're old enough to decide how much they want to share.

robbrown451 8y ago
As far as underwear goes, no I wouldn't care if I was under age 3 in the photo. Seeing a kid in a diaper is an everyday public thing. In that case, she was in a diaper rather than a bathing suit because she was still diaper age. I don't see it remotely as something to be embarrassed about. I don't "need" to post publicly but I also have no reason not to. I'm not going to let people having creepy thoughts control my life, unless there is an actual, tangible danger of harm. Honestly, if I was worried about creeps, I wouldn't let her wear a skirt in public. I see other girls at the playground all the time that make me wince a bit...I'm far more likely to dress my daughter in pants. But at the end of the day, I'm 1000 times more concerned about people in real life than on YouTube....because they are right there.
- kelnos 8y ago
  > As far as underwear goes, no I wouldn't care if I was under age 3 in the photo. Clarification, though: I was talking about you-the-adult, not some hypothetical video of you from when you were 3. Maybe you would be ok with that. That's fine. You're an adult and can decide for yourself what you want to post online about yourself. (I personally do not want videos of my 37-year-old self in my underwear on the internet, but that's just me.) Anyway, as I initially said, I'm not even talking about creeps here. I, personally, as an adult, would not want photos/videos of me as a child floating around on the internet. It's not a matter of embarrassment or safety, it's just that I don't want my life to be public to that degree. But hey, you can always argue that I'm an adult, and I didn't grow up with always-on internet connectivity (or, really, much in the way of internet connectivity at all until I was in high school), so maybe my opinion doesn't count, because culture and social expectations are different now. But... they're not, really, at least not universally so. There are people who are children right now who are uncomfortable with this[0]. The linked article also mentions, for balance's sake, some kids who enjoy having a ton of information about them online. But that's the thing: you can always put more information about yourself online, but once it's there, it's very hard (sometimes impossible) to take it back. Parents who share things about their kids online rob them of the agency to decide for themselves how private they want to be. That's just fact, regardless of what you've decided. [0] https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2019/02/when-kids-realize-their-whole-life-already-online/582916/ https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2019/02/when-...

movedx 8y ago

I personally think you're missing the point of the article. The content of your videos (based on the example you gave) are harmless. Adorable, in fact. You have a beautiful daughter - congrats. Sadly you're missing the point that you did the uploading, not her. The article is about children, I'd say around 11-14 in age on average, possibly late teens too, uploading videos of themselves... themselves. And the videos are adorable videos of them down the park in jeans, they're videos of them in bikinis in their bedrooms. Some of them are videos of them sucking on lollipops... I mean really? Also, the videos being uploading are flags. They're used to signal to pedophiles: there's other content available outside of this video. They're guiding lights for people who wanted darker content. Your videos are just your videos, and you moderate them. It's not the same thing at all.

robbrown451 8y ago
> You have a beautiful daughter - congrats. Creep!!! Just kidding.... Thanks, she's the best. :) Point taken. I get a bit defensive here and there, and I guess what I'm more defensive about is reflected more here in the comments, where people are so quick to shame parents for not being so worried about things that I think are non-issues. (note that I am a bit of an outlier at Hacker News, in that I am in general not particularly concerned about privacy...in the sense that I don't worry about, say, Amazon following me around the web because they have figured out that I am in the market for digital pianos and skateboard parts)

underwater 8y ago

> The thing is, even if someone is a perv and gets off on this sort of thing, it isn't endangering her. I'm not going to lose sleep over it. But... it's a video of her, not of you. Is she going to lose sleep over it if in five years she goes on YouTube and discovers someone has cloned and monetized the video, and a bunch of creeps have commented on it?

robbrown451 8y ago
Well I'm her parent and I get to make such decisions for now. That's how it works. If I had any concern whatsoever that she might be embarrassed about something I post, I'd take that into consideration, but I'm not. Someone could video her at a playground, and post it on YouTube. Should I not take her to the playground out of fear of that? Honestly, I think I'm probably more concerned than most other parents, since they put their daughters in skirts and let them play on the monkeybars, while I tend to dress her in pants when she is going to be doing that sort of thing. But it's probably more out of concern for other dads, who (thanks to all the hand wringing about this sort of thing) tend to feel like everyone is on the lookout for someone who is creepy.