4 ms·

If you're comfortable, could you describe some of your experiences facing sexism? Did you experience this after you released information that you're a divorced

by dgzl 8y ago

If you're comfortable, could you describe some of your experiences facing sexism? Did you experience this after you released information that you're a divorced parent?

DoreenMichele 8y ago
I have a Certificate in GIS. I worked at a Fortune 500 company for over 5 years in a Pink Collar Ghetto department. I wanted a job in the IT department, where jobs generally paid better. In all the years I worked there, I met only one person who knew what GIS was without me having to explain it. He was a senior programmer in the department I wanted a job in. He asked me for a date, thereby making it vastly less likely that I would be able to work there (in his department). I'm sure he stopped to think about whether or not it would tank his career to date me. No, it wouldn't. I'm equally sure he didn't bother to wonder how the question would impact my future at the company. (I'm sure he also never wondered what my educational background might do for the company. I imagine he would have wondered if I could do something for his department if he hadn't been thinking of me as a sex object.) I also appear to be the only woman to have ever spent time on the leader board of HN. Over the course of nine+ years, I've established exactly one useful contact through HN. I've been endlessly mocked for thinking I could use HN to network and put up with endless crap that I don't really want to get into. A piece of my writing hit the front page in January. It got more than 60k page views. This did not result in a single tip or new Patreon supporter. Instead, someone wrote me around the same time about a two month old comment where I talked about being suicidal over the sexism I face on HN. He offered to do a fundraiser for me out of sympathy. I wrote back and said I would rather be taken seriously for my work and pointed him to the piece with 60k+ page views. He didn't reply to that. I am routinely treated like a charity case, not like someone with something of value to offer that's worth money. I'm on day six of a fast that is partly rooted in waiting for a deposit I expected Friday and still don't have and partly rooted in my inability to figure out how to turn my skills into money because I have the wrong bits between my legs to get taken seriously and paid for my work.
- gdhbcc 8y ago
  To be honest it sounds like you just have unreasonable expectations about the way things work, and choose to look at everything from a negative perspective. Maybe readjusting the way you view things would make you happier, because it sure sounds like you have a siege mentality.
  - DoreenMichele 8y ago
    I've barely eaten for six days because I'm so broke. I said so in the comment. I don't doubt that I sound particularly negative in the comment, but your comment amounts to monstrous callousness of exactly the sort that fosters my negative perspective.
    - TheLilHipster 8y ago
      > fosters my negative perspective. I learned pretty quick that STEM was a meritocracy. You either solved-problems and adapted to working in a office - or you made excuses, passed blame and were eventually pushed out because of it. This was discrimination against an attitude, not discrimination based on sex. Sexism/racism is like a synonym for sin in the 21st century. Instead of trying to understand the humanity and nuance of workplace interactions, we assume malice and scream "sinner" at individuals without merit. It's a lazy catch-all, its based on assumption and literally just fosters a culture of silent disagreements. It's regressive, it's primary school all over again, except we're 30 and bitter. > but your comment amounts to monstrous callousness of exactly the sort that fosters my negative perspective. Yeah yeah "your comment is offensive to me so please don't contribute to my 'tolerant' and 'inclusive' world-view". Ugh. Your words are offensive, your thoughts are offensive, your existence is offensive. There does this line of thinking end? I'm so apathetic to how immature discourse is getting. Outrage culture needs to die in a fire.
    - dgzl 8y ago
      > I've barely eaten for six days because I'm so broke. This is the most important thing you've said... Why are you on HN instead of trying to eat?! That's so important!

by dgzl 8y ago

If you're comfortable, could you describe some of your experiences facing sexism? Did you experience this after you released information that you're a divorced parent?

DoreenMichele 8y ago

I have a Certificate in GIS. I worked at a Fortune 500 company for over 5 years in a Pink Collar Ghetto department. I wanted a job in the IT department, where jobs generally paid better. In all the years I worked there, I met only one person who knew what GIS was without me having to explain it. He was a senior programmer in the department I wanted a job in. He asked me for a date, thereby making it vastly less likely that I would be able to work there (in his department). I'm sure he stopped to think about whether or not it would tank his career to date me. No, it wouldn't. I'm equally sure he didn't bother to wonder how the question would impact my future at the company. (I'm sure he also never wondered what my educational background might do for the company. I imagine he would have wondered if I could do something for his department if he hadn't been thinking of me as a sex object.) I also appear to be the only woman to have ever spent time on the leader board of HN. Over the course of nine+ years, I've established exactly one useful contact through HN. I've been endlessly mocked for thinking I could use HN to network and put up with endless crap that I don't really want to get into. A piece of my writing hit the front page in January. It got more than 60k page views. This did not result in a single tip or new Patreon supporter. Instead, someone wrote me around the same time about a two month old comment where I talked about being suicidal over the sexism I face on HN. He offered to do a fundraiser for me out of sympathy. I wrote back and said I would rather be taken seriously for my work and pointed him to the piece with 60k+ page views. He didn't reply to that. I am routinely treated like a charity case, not like someone with something of value to offer that's worth money. I'm on day six of a fast that is partly rooted in waiting for a deposit I expected Friday and still don't have and partly rooted in my inability to figure out how to turn my skills into money because I have the wrong bits between my legs to get taken seriously and paid for my work.

gdhbcc 8y ago
To be honest it sounds like you just have unreasonable expectations about the way things work, and choose to look at everything from a negative perspective. Maybe readjusting the way you view things would make you happier, because it sure sounds like you have a siege mentality.
- DoreenMichele 8y ago
  I've barely eaten for six days because I'm so broke. I said so in the comment. I don't doubt that I sound particularly negative in the comment, but your comment amounts to monstrous callousness of exactly the sort that fosters my negative perspective.
  - TheLilHipster 8y ago
    > fosters my negative perspective. I learned pretty quick that STEM was a meritocracy. You either solved-problems and adapted to working in a office - or you made excuses, passed blame and were eventually pushed out because of it. This was discrimination against an attitude, not discrimination based on sex. Sexism/racism is like a synonym for sin in the 21st century. Instead of trying to understand the humanity and nuance of workplace interactions, we assume malice and scream "sinner" at individuals without merit. It's a lazy catch-all, its based on assumption and literally just fosters a culture of silent disagreements. It's regressive, it's primary school all over again, except we're 30 and bitter. > but your comment amounts to monstrous callousness of exactly the sort that fosters my negative perspective. Yeah yeah "your comment is offensive to me so please don't contribute to my 'tolerant' and 'inclusive' world-view". Ugh. Your words are offensive, your thoughts are offensive, your existence is offensive. There does this line of thinking end? I'm so apathetic to how immature discourse is getting. Outrage culture needs to die in a fire.
  - dgzl 8y ago
    > I've barely eaten for six days because I'm so broke. This is the most important thing you've said... Why are you on HN instead of trying to eat?! That's so important!