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I meet people all the time whose sole source of information is their doctor. And, I said 'FWIW' as the very first word. I realize this is the internet but that

I meet people all the time whose sole source of information is their doctor. And, I said 'FWIW' as the very first word. I realize this is the internet but that's a stretch to find an insult.

shakna 8y ago
> I realize this is the internet but that's a stretch to find an insult. It's not. It's even in the damned article. If you can't understand that, you have even less business giving anyone advice, you're missing the humanity of the situation.
- SteveCoast 8y ago
  You literally give unasked advice in your other thread. I'm not sure we can run open discussion boards with the principle that you can't insult anyone for any reason even unintentionally.
  - shakna 8y ago
    > I'm afraid I'm going to have to be a little rude here. > You may be approaching this with good intentions, but don't do this. I calmly asked you to stop a behaviour. The insult was only taken when you asserted your belief that I, a victim of the situation, is fundamentally wrong, and that you, a random stranger, have the right to do something people, not just myself but the author of the article and many others, find harmful. Open discussion will always bring conflict. That's not the problem here. The problem is you've told something causes conflict, and you aren't responding with sensitivity, or grace. I've attempted to explain to you the nuances of the behaviour, and why that may cause conflict.
    - SteveCoast 8y ago
      > I calmly asked you to stop a behaviour. Then let me calmly ask you to stop. Chill. Go walk in the woods.
      - shakna 8y ago
        I can't actually walk, so no thanks. But no, you haven't irritated me enough to be a concern, and I agree, the effort to convince someone who has no wish to understand is more than I can spare.
SolaceQuantum 8y ago
I believe the concern here is that while the intentions to provide advice may be good, the actual result is harmful, and thus it is better not to provide advisement unless explicitly requested in the specific context of someone who has a chronic illness. The assumption of providing advisement is 1) your advice might be helpful, 2) advising isn't itself a harmful act, 3) you have something worth advising about. In the specific case of a chonic illness, the probability is high that all these assumptions are not correct. Therefore, advising a chronically ill person requires exceptional behavior compared to someone who is not chronically ill. It's also important that this(unwanted advice) is a common issue that adversely affects a person's QoL, as they are forced to re-address the same ground consistently when they already have limited productive resources.
- nate_meurer 8y ago
  > adversely affects a person's QoL, as they are forced to re-address the same ground consistently when they already have limited productive resources. But that's not what happened here. Steve didn't prompt anyone for a response of any kind. He offered a quick one-liner of a suggestion. Shakna wasn't even part of that thread, and just dropped in to tell him to shut up. It's the internet man. You're quite free to disregard the advice.
  - SolaceQuantum 8y ago
    Shakna was attempting to use a common social cue, criticism, to prevent Steve from continuing to apply inappropriate social behavior, especially relevant given that Shakna has a decade of experience in the nuances of social dynamics in the context of chronic illness. I interpreted Shakna's sharp rebuke as no different than any other expert informing someone that they're participating in highly ignorant behavior. By criticizing Shakna, you are also participating in a social cue to try and prevent Shakna from continuing to apply inappropriate social behavior (in this case, criticizing others unnecessarily). Does "It's the internet man. You're quite free to disregard Shakna's criticism." not apply also to you?
    - nate_meurer 8y ago
astura 8y ago
>I meet people all the time whose sole source of information is their doctor I seriously doubt that. Everyone who has a chronic illness is bombarded constantly by friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers with unsolicited "advice" as to how to cure their disease with diets, exercise, oils, herbs, craniosacral therapy, prayer, meditation, homeopathy, enemas, chiropractic adjustments, talk therapy, vitamins, supplements, and every other crazy thing you can think of.

I meet people all the time whose sole source of information is their doctor. And, I said 'FWIW' as the very first word. I realize this is the internet but that's a stretch to find an insult.

shakna 8y ago

> I realize this is the internet but that's a stretch to find an insult. It's not. It's even in the damned article. If you can't understand that, you have even less business giving anyone advice, you're missing the humanity of the situation.

SteveCoast 8y ago
You literally give unasked advice in your other thread. I'm not sure we can run open discussion boards with the principle that you can't insult anyone for any reason even unintentionally.
- shakna 8y ago
  > I'm afraid I'm going to have to be a little rude here. > You may be approaching this with good intentions, but don't do this. I calmly asked you to stop a behaviour. The insult was only taken when you asserted your belief that I, a victim of the situation, is fundamentally wrong, and that you, a random stranger, have the right to do something people, not just myself but the author of the article and many others, find harmful. Open discussion will always bring conflict. That's not the problem here. The problem is you've told something causes conflict, and you aren't responding with sensitivity, or grace. I've attempted to explain to you the nuances of the behaviour, and why that may cause conflict.
  - SteveCoast 8y ago
    > I calmly asked you to stop a behaviour. Then let me calmly ask you to stop. Chill. Go walk in the woods.
    - shakna 8y ago
      I can't actually walk, so no thanks. But no, you haven't irritated me enough to be a concern, and I agree, the effort to convince someone who has no wish to understand is more than I can spare.

SolaceQuantum 8y ago

I believe the concern here is that while the intentions to provide advice may be good, the actual result is harmful, and thus it is better not to provide advisement unless explicitly requested in the specific context of someone who has a chronic illness. The assumption of providing advisement is 1) your advice might be helpful, 2) advising isn't itself a harmful act, 3) you have something worth advising about. In the specific case of a chonic illness, the probability is high that all these assumptions are not correct. Therefore, advising a chronically ill person requires exceptional behavior compared to someone who is not chronically ill. It's also important that this(unwanted advice) is a common issue that adversely affects a person's QoL, as they are forced to re-address the same ground consistently when they already have limited productive resources.

nate_meurer 8y ago
> adversely affects a person's QoL, as they are forced to re-address the same ground consistently when they already have limited productive resources. But that's not what happened here. Steve didn't prompt anyone for a response of any kind. He offered a quick one-liner of a suggestion. Shakna wasn't even part of that thread, and just dropped in to tell him to shut up. It's the internet man. You're quite free to disregard the advice.
- SolaceQuantum 8y ago
  Shakna was attempting to use a common social cue, criticism, to prevent Steve from continuing to apply inappropriate social behavior, especially relevant given that Shakna has a decade of experience in the nuances of social dynamics in the context of chronic illness. I interpreted Shakna's sharp rebuke as no different than any other expert informing someone that they're participating in highly ignorant behavior. By criticizing Shakna, you are also participating in a social cue to try and prevent Shakna from continuing to apply inappropriate social behavior (in this case, criticizing others unnecessarily). Does "It's the internet man. You're quite free to disregard Shakna's criticism." not apply also to you?
  - nate_meurer 8y ago

astura 8y ago

>I meet people all the time whose sole source of information is their doctor I seriously doubt that. Everyone who has a chronic illness is bombarded constantly by friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers with unsolicited "advice" as to how to cure their disease with diets, exercise, oils, herbs, craniosacral therapy, prayer, meditation, homeopathy, enemas, chiropractic adjustments, talk therapy, vitamins, supplements, and every other crazy thing you can think of.