You might benefit from considering the stoic position on awesomeness. The logical conclusion of cynicism IS an embrace of the "oceanic awesomeness" in that you

You might benefit from considering the stoic position on awesomeness. The logical conclusion of cynicism IS an embrace of the "oceanic awesomeness" in that you learn to appreciate all that is now because it will end/leave/die/fail. To disengage or lose hope because of this fact rather than to embrace and engage is a mistake.