I'm not entirely sure you and the parent poster are necessarily disagreeing. Imagine we are watching a 10 man marathon about to start. And you and I see that of

I'm not entirely sure you and the parent poster are necessarily disagreeing. Imagine we are watching a 10 man marathon about to start. And you and I see that of the 10 competitors, 3 have a ball and chain strapped to their legs, 5 are just somewhat weighed down, and then 2 of them are somehow riding scooters. Yet from the perspective of each of the competitors they all look pretty much the same to one another. I'd fully agree that telling the 2 that they should just try their hardest is definitely the right thing to do. Letting them know their advantage, especially prematurely, would be only likely to drive hubris and create a story of the tortoise and the hare. But if they apply themselves, the sky's the limit. Yet at the same time, what of the 3 with the ball and chain? They're not going to win, or even be able to compete in this field, regardless of how hard they try. Trying to convince them that they can do anything they want with hard work might make us feel better about ourselves, but I doubt is going to make them feel great as they find failure after failure regardless of the amount of effort they expend. Maybe the best solution is indeed to just pretend, but I think that would only be because it is a least awful solution. I certainly cannot see any argument to be made that this is a desirable or ethical idea as it relates to the three we're talking about.