6 ms·

if I spend an hour fixing this; this is an hour less I spend with my kids or an hour I miss chatting to my wife. Doing chores and fixing stuff can be an intere

by ced 8y ago

if I spend an hour fixing this; this is an hour less I spend with my kids or an hour I miss chatting to my wife. Doing chores and fixing stuff can be an interesting activity for a kid, depending on the age. Granted, I'm not good at mending either.

laumars 8y ago
I discussed this in my other post but to expand on that, we do a lot of household chores together (tidying, cleaning, washing car, gardening, etc). However I wouldn't trust a a toddler and 5 year old with a sewing needle.
- Yetanfou 8y ago
  A 5yo can certainly be trusted with a blunt sewing needle, the type used to mend holes in socks etc ('stopnaald' in Dutch, darning-needle in English). A toddler can not but might find it interesting to toddle around while you show the 5yo to mend that hole in that sock - or something similar.
  - deleted 8y ago
    [deleted]
  - laumars 8y ago
    He can't. We have actually tried before with a sowing-craft set he got for Christmas (which my wife ended up making with him watching). To be honest I shouldn't have to defend what chores I choose to spend time doing with the kids. I'd be interested to know how many on here have kids, do all of the aforementioned chores and still find time to teach 5 year olds to mend socks, shirts and jumpers? There seems to be an inordinate amount of "high-roading" happening today.
    - scarejunba 8y ago
      Dude. Everyone acts like this. For the guy teaching his kid robotics, you're missing out by not teaching your kid robotics. But he isn't teaching his kid chemistry. And the chem guy isn't teaching his kid carpentry. Each of them doesn't realize what they aren't doing. Only that they're very busy and somehow manage to fit in this one thing. So why can't you? Don't take advice on parenting from HN. It's the essential oil mommy blog of the programmer community.
      - laumars 8y ago
        It's a pity you're getting downvoted because I think this is the most sensible comment made in this entire thread. :-/
    - Yetanfou 8y ago
      I do. We live on a farm where they also get to do other interesting things, e.g. two days ago I was splitting firewood with my 7yo daughter - that is she did the splitting with a hydraulic press, I watched and helped where necessary while showing her where danger lies and how to avoid problems. Both daughters (7yo and 14yo) know how to sew - the 14yo got a sewing machine when she was 11. They can do many other practical things as well since we involve them in many tasks around the house and farm. ...and that is the 'secret' to raising self-reliant children: involve them in common tasks when those tasks are performed anyway. This does not take any "high-roading" as you imply, it just takes a little bit of forethought and might make things go a bit slower than they normally would.
      - laumars 8y ago
        > I do. Good for you. However not all kids are the same so what activities worked well for you might not work well for other families - despite their best efforts. Like I said - we have tried doing needlework with my son with a kit that was specifically designed for kids. So my comments are not without precedence. > ...and that is the 'secret' to raising self-reliant children: involve them in common tasks when those tasks are performed anyway. This does not take any "high-roading" as you imply, it just takes a little bit of forethought and might make things go a bit slower than they normally would. Geez, I wish I thought of that. So all those years I've spent playing number and word games with them; teaching them to cook, handle scissors, knives, gas cookers and even open fires responsibly; how to do a great many DIY projects with power tools safely and engage in their curiosity for the natural world was all just a waste of time because I didn't happen to do that one thing you do. /s
    - craigsmansion 8y ago
      > I shouldn't have to defend what chores I choose to spend time doing with the kids. Of course you shouldn't, but you presented a false dichotomy with "if I spend an hour fixing this; this is an hour less I spend with my kids." There is nothing a parent can take apart or put together without any curious child immediately having a deeply rooted interest in- and a thousand questions about the matter. It's okay not to be able or want to fix something, but don't blame it on your kids. As an aside, I believe it's the best way to parent. It teaches kids that no matter what happens in life, they always have themselves to rely on.
      - laumars 8y ago
        > Of course you shouldn't, but you presented a false dichotomy with "if I spend an hour fixing this; this is an hour less I spend with my kids." Given you know precisely zero about me, my family, nor our routines; you are in no position to assume what is a "false dichotomy". > It's okay not to be able or want to fix something, but don't blame it on your kids. If you're takeaway was that I'm blaming it on the kids then you've clearly not been reading my posts properly. My stance from the very start was that I don't want to do it. > As an aside, I believe it's the best way to parent. It teaches kids that no matter what happens in life, they always have themselves to rely on. Thank you for that titbit of advice. I'd never considered teaching my kids basic life skills. /s
        craigsmansion 8y ago
        "False dichotomy" being a general concept means I don't have to be in any sort of position of knowing any specifics. It's generally applicable. I have no idea why you're defensive about this. > I don't want to do it. which is different from "if I spend an hour fixing this; this is an hour less I spend with my kids". "I don't want to do it" or "I can't do it" is a perfectly fine reason by itself. > Thank you for that titbit of advice. You're welcome.
        laumars 8y ago
        > "False dichotomy" being a general concept means I don't have to be in any sort of position of knowing any specifics. It's generally applicable. Specifics do matter when they're critical to the conclusion being made. In this case my daughter it too young to do needlework and my son isn't interested in it either (as I've said before, we have tried). So ultimately I would end up -- and previously have ended up -- doing it by myself despite any best efforts to incorporate the kids. I do get at some point he'll have to learn that not all chores are fun but he's only 5 and there are a lot of chores he does love doing (including stuff "normal" people hate) so I'm willing to let him stick to the ones he finds enjoyable while he's still young enough to get away with it. After all, he has a whole lifetime of work ahead of him. > I have no idea why you're defensive about this. Wouldn't you get a little defensive if I started telling you how I think you should raise your family when I've never met you? I see it time and time again where HN posters pretend to be experts on the weirdest of subjects and this is no exception. I swear this place was never like that when I first joined... In any case, comments about ones family are a deeply personal topic so you should expect one might take those comments personally. ;)
- astura 8y ago
  shrug I sewed when I was 5. I also cross stitched and used a basic loom.

by ced 8y ago

laumars 8y ago

I discussed this in my other post but to expand on that, we do a lot of household chores together (tidying, cleaning, washing car, gardening, etc). However I wouldn't trust a a toddler and 5 year old with a sewing needle.

Yetanfou 8y ago
A 5yo can certainly be trusted with a blunt sewing needle, the type used to mend holes in socks etc ('stopnaald' in Dutch, darning-needle in English). A toddler can not but might find it interesting to toddle around while you show the 5yo to mend that hole in that sock - or something similar.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
- laumars 8y ago
  He can't. We have actually tried before with a sowing-craft set he got for Christmas (which my wife ended up making with him watching). To be honest I shouldn't have to defend what chores I choose to spend time doing with the kids. I'd be interested to know how many on here have kids, do all of the aforementioned chores and still find time to teach 5 year olds to mend socks, shirts and jumpers? There seems to be an inordinate amount of "high-roading" happening today.
  - scarejunba 8y ago
    Dude. Everyone acts like this. For the guy teaching his kid robotics, you're missing out by not teaching your kid robotics. But he isn't teaching his kid chemistry. And the chem guy isn't teaching his kid carpentry. Each of them doesn't realize what they aren't doing. Only that they're very busy and somehow manage to fit in this one thing. So why can't you? Don't take advice on parenting from HN. It's the essential oil mommy blog of the programmer community.
    - laumars 8y ago
      It's a pity you're getting downvoted because I think this is the most sensible comment made in this entire thread. :-/
  - Yetanfou 8y ago
    I do. We live on a farm where they also get to do other interesting things, e.g. two days ago I was splitting firewood with my 7yo daughter - that is she did the splitting with a hydraulic press, I watched and helped where necessary while showing her where danger lies and how to avoid problems. Both daughters (7yo and 14yo) know how to sew - the 14yo got a sewing machine when she was 11. They can do many other practical things as well since we involve them in many tasks around the house and farm. ...and that is the 'secret' to raising self-reliant children: involve them in common tasks when those tasks are performed anyway. This does not take any "high-roading" as you imply, it just takes a little bit of forethought and might make things go a bit slower than they normally would.
    - laumars 8y ago
      > I do. Good for you. However not all kids are the same so what activities worked well for you might not work well for other families - despite their best efforts. Like I said - we have tried doing needlework with my son with a kit that was specifically designed for kids. So my comments are not without precedence. > ...and that is the 'secret' to raising self-reliant children: involve them in common tasks when those tasks are performed anyway. This does not take any "high-roading" as you imply, it just takes a little bit of forethought and might make things go a bit slower than they normally would. Geez, I wish I thought of that. So all those years I've spent playing number and word games with them; teaching them to cook, handle scissors, knives, gas cookers and even open fires responsibly; how to do a great many DIY projects with power tools safely and engage in their curiosity for the natural world was all just a waste of time because I didn't happen to do that one thing you do. /s
  - craigsmansion 8y ago
    > I shouldn't have to defend what chores I choose to spend time doing with the kids. Of course you shouldn't, but you presented a false dichotomy with "if I spend an hour fixing this; this is an hour less I spend with my kids." There is nothing a parent can take apart or put together without any curious child immediately having a deeply rooted interest in- and a thousand questions about the matter. It's okay not to be able or want to fix something, but don't blame it on your kids. As an aside, I believe it's the best way to parent. It teaches kids that no matter what happens in life, they always have themselves to rely on.
    - laumars 8y ago
      > Of course you shouldn't, but you presented a false dichotomy with "if I spend an hour fixing this; this is an hour less I spend with my kids." Given you know precisely zero about me, my family, nor our routines; you are in no position to assume what is a "false dichotomy". > It's okay not to be able or want to fix something, but don't blame it on your kids. If you're takeaway was that I'm blaming it on the kids then you've clearly not been reading my posts properly. My stance from the very start was that I don't want to do it. > As an aside, I believe it's the best way to parent. It teaches kids that no matter what happens in life, they always have themselves to rely on. Thank you for that titbit of advice. I'd never considered teaching my kids basic life skills. /s
      - craigsmansion 8y ago
        "False dichotomy" being a general concept means I don't have to be in any sort of position of knowing any specifics. It's generally applicable. I have no idea why you're defensive about this. > I don't want to do it. which is different from "if I spend an hour fixing this; this is an hour less I spend with my kids". "I don't want to do it" or "I can't do it" is a perfectly fine reason by itself. > Thank you for that titbit of advice. You're welcome.
        laumars 8y ago
        > "False dichotomy" being a general concept means I don't have to be in any sort of position of knowing any specifics. It's generally applicable. Specifics do matter when they're critical to the conclusion being made. In this case my daughter it too young to do needlework and my son isn't interested in it either (as I've said before, we have tried). So ultimately I would end up -- and previously have ended up -- doing it by myself despite any best efforts to incorporate the kids. I do get at some point he'll have to learn that not all chores are fun but he's only 5 and there are a lot of chores he does love doing (including stuff "normal" people hate) so I'm willing to let him stick to the ones he finds enjoyable while he's still young enough to get away with it. After all, he has a whole lifetime of work ahead of him. > I have no idea why you're defensive about this. Wouldn't you get a little defensive if I started telling you how I think you should raise your family when I've never met you? I see it time and time again where HN posters pretend to be experts on the weirdest of subjects and this is no exception. I swear this place was never like that when I first joined... In any case, comments about ones family are a deeply personal topic so you should expect one might take those comments personally. ;)
astura 8y ago
shrug I sewed when I was 5. I also cross stitched and used a basic loom.