Why can't we as a society say it's ok for a dying person to be selfish. It wasn't best for the kids, but that's ok. What matters is the dying person was as ha

Why can't we as a society say it's ok for a dying person to be selfish. It wasn't best for the kids, but that's ok. What matters is the dying person was as happy as possible, which one can see, keeping it from the kids would have helped with. The kids will find out about the lie and further lying that it was for "them" is where it's not healthy. The concept they went through hardship by not knowing acknowledges their journey AND gives it value by saying it helped their parent in their final days rather than the awful guilt of not being able to help or even given the chance to help.