I’ve struggled with the same thing, and only found one solution that is a choice rather than waiting foe something tomchange. Stop. Thinking. About. It. I kno

I’ve struggled with the same thing, and only found one solution that is a choice rather than waiting foe something tomchange. Stop. Thinking. About. It. I know, how unhelpful can I be, right? Hear me out though, I’m not talking about coming to terms with mortality, or focusing on distractions. Recognize instead that what you’re describing has two components interacting in a way that hurts you. First, as an intelligent problem solver you’re used to problems yielding to examination. When you run into a metaphorical wall in your mind, you pick away at it until it breaks down, or you find a way over and around it. You can’t do that with death, because it’s too anathema to all of our experiences. Second, is an obsessive quality to the thinking. This is the part that “poisons every waking hour.” You’ll find idle thoughts drifting to thoughts of mortality, and intrusive thoughts of mortality will pop up. If you’re like me, this will be especially bad at night. You might feel a sort of dreadful fascination, as if by just thinking a bit more or harder could get you past it. Even thinking “I should be rational about this” is effectively another iteration of the same pattern. So, forget about coming to terms with anything, forget about rationality. Look at the toolkits of things like Cogntiive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and just... stop. Then the only things you have to accept are that this pattern of thought is hurting you, and that no amount of thinking will help you to accept or understand extinction. All you will do is reach that point of excruciating terror, and then seek distraction. When you find yourself drifting into thoughts of death, say to yourself “No” and then immediately change mental gears. Especially at first it can help to get a change of scenery for a minute, you can get up and walk around for a minute. Especially at first this will feel like swatting a whale with a feather, but that’s OK. Don’t make a production out of switching gears, just s quick “No” and shift. Like meditating, you have to be wary of a tendency for your redirection to take the form of what you’re trying to redirect from, so keep it simple and formulaic. This will take time, lots of time, months to have any real impact, years to truly give you a sense of control. But... it will help. It’s a good general skill to have too, and meditation of any kind can help to flex these mental muscles. You can also talk to a doctor, or someone who specializes in CBT and seek some help at first. It won’t be required forever, but it can get you started and keep you on track at first. I say all of this as someone who around the age of 9 started to “freak out” about death. Nothing anyone told me helped, I didn’t believe in an afterlife, and considering eternity before my birth was terrifying too. The only thing that helped was just not thinking about, and it has helped a lot. I hope that some of this helps. Just remember that the fear of death is normal, and focus instead on addressing the obsessive habit of thinking about it. The former is too big and impossible, the latter is totally human-scale and something you can do with time and effort.