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I should have posted this earlier. I usually come to HN for some good analytical cynicism. But not today. I wish I hadn't read some of the comments on this t

by bargl 8y ago

I should have posted this earlier. I usually come to HN for some good analytical cynicism. But not today. I wish I hadn't read some of the comments on this thread. I get it you disagree, you'd do it better, or different or for xyz reason. This is a story. A touching one at that, about a hard decision two individuals had to make and the sacrifices they made along the way because of that decision. Ultimately it's theirs to make. If you are ever in this exact situation yourself I don't think you look to an article for advice, but instead consolation. We were invited in for a glimpse, I don't think we need to criticize these people we don't know. I don't even want to pretend to be able to justify their actions either. I don't know them.

deleted 8y ago
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ridgeguy 8y ago
Agreed. I'm grateful for the shared story. It's an example of one way to deal with what comes to us all. I'm always thankful for reports by those further down the road.
drewcon 8y ago
I wish we were all this thoughtful.
fzeroracer 8y ago
I've had to face death at a young age. It may be their decision to make, but it's a decision I firmly believe is worth criticizing because it's unhealthy. For years I was in denial of my father's death and my family had trouble discussing his passing. I came away from that incident realizing that it is never a good idea to lie or deny death. Discussing it early helps you and your family prepare and makes the years afterwards less traumatic, as you don't feel robbed of your time.
- bargl 8y ago
  You're giving advice, and it's good advice. The article isn't advice it's a story and it's a good story.
porpoisely 8y ago
We don't get to criticize people we don't know? Then we can't criticize or discuss anything. If you don't want to criticize, then you shouldn't. But what's with the "we"? Why do you think you should get to decide what "we" should or shouldn't criticize? If you disagreed with a criticism, then you should respond to that or ignore it. Why try to force your "morality" on everyone else? Why try to stifle other people's voice? Personally, my parents kept my grandfather's illness from me. I didn't find out my grandfather was ill or dying until his funeral. That's right. I found out my grandfather died at his funeral. I didn't agree with my parents' decision and I don't agree this person's decision.
- bargl 8y ago
  >We don't get to criticize people we don't know? Then we can't criticize or discuss anything. Not what I'm saying, I'm speaking specifically to my opinion about this story. >If you don't want to criticize, then you shouldn't. But what's with the "we"? Why do you think you should get to decide what "we" should or shouldn't criticize? "we" are part of HN as loose a collection of individuals as that is, it's me and you and everyone else here. I don't get to decide what we should or shouldn't criticize. But I do get to say how I feel about that criticism with my opinion and if that resonates with other people then so be it. >If you disagreed with a criticism, then you should respond to that or ignore it. Why try to force your "morality" on everyone else? Why try to stifle other people's voice? That's your morality not mine. I did respond, I just didn't do it in a reply to to a specific comment. >Personally, my parents kept my grandfather's illness from me. I didn't find out my grandfather was ill or dying until his funeral. That's right. I found out my grandfather died at his funeral. I didn't agree with my parents' decision and I don't agree this person's decision. Shit man, that sounds really hard, I have no clue what that must be like. I'm really sorry that it went down that way for you and your family. I'm not the morality police. I just.... think sometimes we forget there is someone looking into the screen on the other side of this comment who might feel shitty because of what we said. Edit: Usually it doesn't matter but as I left a counter comment I wanted to let you know I didn't downvote you. I didn't feel it would be appropriate given the topic of our conversation.
Upvoter33 8y ago
I agree - why criticize? to what end? there is no obvious right or wrong here, and it's a painful story either way.

by bargl 8y ago

deleted 8y ago

[deleted]

ridgeguy 8y ago

Agreed. I'm grateful for the shared story. It's an example of one way to deal with what comes to us all. I'm always thankful for reports by those further down the road.

drewcon 8y ago

I wish we were all this thoughtful.

fzeroracer 8y ago

I've had to face death at a young age. It may be their decision to make, but it's a decision I firmly believe is worth criticizing because it's unhealthy. For years I was in denial of my father's death and my family had trouble discussing his passing. I came away from that incident realizing that it is never a good idea to lie or deny death. Discussing it early helps you and your family prepare and makes the years afterwards less traumatic, as you don't feel robbed of your time.

bargl 8y ago
You're giving advice, and it's good advice. The article isn't advice it's a story and it's a good story.

porpoisely 8y ago

We don't get to criticize people we don't know? Then we can't criticize or discuss anything. If you don't want to criticize, then you shouldn't. But what's with the "we"? Why do you think you should get to decide what "we" should or shouldn't criticize? If you disagreed with a criticism, then you should respond to that or ignore it. Why try to force your "morality" on everyone else? Why try to stifle other people's voice? Personally, my parents kept my grandfather's illness from me. I didn't find out my grandfather was ill or dying until his funeral. That's right. I found out my grandfather died at his funeral. I didn't agree with my parents' decision and I don't agree this person's decision.

bargl 8y ago
>We don't get to criticize people we don't know? Then we can't criticize or discuss anything. Not what I'm saying, I'm speaking specifically to my opinion about this story. >If you don't want to criticize, then you shouldn't. But what's with the "we"? Why do you think you should get to decide what "we" should or shouldn't criticize? "we" are part of HN as loose a collection of individuals as that is, it's me and you and everyone else here. I don't get to decide what we should or shouldn't criticize. But I do get to say how I feel about that criticism with my opinion and if that resonates with other people then so be it. >If you disagreed with a criticism, then you should respond to that or ignore it. Why try to force your "morality" on everyone else? Why try to stifle other people's voice? That's your morality not mine. I did respond, I just didn't do it in a reply to to a specific comment. >Personally, my parents kept my grandfather's illness from me. I didn't find out my grandfather was ill or dying until his funeral. That's right. I found out my grandfather died at his funeral. I didn't agree with my parents' decision and I don't agree this person's decision. Shit man, that sounds really hard, I have no clue what that must be like. I'm really sorry that it went down that way for you and your family. I'm not the morality police. I just.... think sometimes we forget there is someone looking into the screen on the other side of this comment who might feel shitty because of what we said. Edit: Usually it doesn't matter but as I left a counter comment I wanted to let you know I didn't downvote you. I didn't feel it would be appropriate given the topic of our conversation.

Upvoter33 8y ago

I agree - why criticize? to what end? there is no obvious right or wrong here, and it's a painful story either way.