Two Things. (1) Think of a database as a "big pile of stuff in a room". Some of it's ordered in a sane way, some of it's not. There is "a person at the door" t

Two Things. (1) Think of a database as a "big pile of stuff in a room". Some of it's ordered in a sane way, some of it's not. There is "a person at the door" to the room preventing you from entering - this is the Database Engine, not to be confused with the Database itself. You need to get things out of the room, and you need to put things in the room. You're not allowed to enter. If you want something out of the room, you must ask for it (query) by specifying what the thing looks like and which part of the pile you think it's in. If you want to put something in the room, you must provide explicit instructions for where it must go. When you write SQL, you are either asking a question of or giving instructions to the database engine. The DB Engine is distinct from the Database (the big pile of stuff...which you never have direct access to). (2) As others have pointed out, SQL is very much the mathematics of Set Theory put into a programming language. Stanford has a free class on Databases. I took it a few years ago (it may have changed), and most of it had no SQL at all. It was fairly very straight forward - things you can do with pencil and paper. It's free, so no pressure. Go sign up and do some of the homework assignments. Do them until you get them right (you can re-take wrongly answered problems immediately). It'll help break your procedural mindset. https://online.stanford.edu/courses/soe-ydatabases-databases https://online.stanford.edu/courses/soe-ydatabases-databases