The other part of this "cooked" term we're missing is that microwave energy (RF energy in the 300 MHz to 300 GHz band) only "cooks" things when there is enough

The other part of this "cooked" term we're missing is that microwave energy (RF energy in the 300 MHz to 300 GHz band) only "cooks" things when there is enough energy at the excitation frequency of water molecules. That frequency is around 2.4 or 2.5 GHz. Most cell phones operate in the 700, 800, 900, 1700, 1800, 1900, and 2100 MHz bands.