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> Perhaps we could treat each other as adults A good adult like thing to start with is not literally say "fuck you" when leaving.

justinjlynn 8y ago
A good adult thing to do is to start recognising that different people have different ways of dealing with situations. A good adult thing to do is to start understanding that there is no one absolute answer to almost any question one could ask - including, but not limited to, the question: "Is it appropriate to tell someone 'fuck you' on the way out the door?".
- magpi3 8y ago
  Adults realize that actions have consequences. Saying fuck you to someone might make me feel better in the moment, but what would it give me in the long run? I would be giving others the chance to view me as childish, unprofessional, and uncivil. Where is the gain in that?
  - tasuki 8y ago
    If you were childish, unprofessional, and uncivil, it would be the honest thing to do. Not everything has to be done for personal gain. On a related note, I'd much rather be told an honest "fuck you" than a dishonest "it was good working with you". The former is an opportunity for me to reflect.
int_19h 8y ago
Depends a lot on the context behind that leaving. There are absolutely situations where it can be warranted - abuse (including verbal), for example. Politeness is the default state of affairs, but depending on how you behave, you might lose that privilege.
- faissaloo 8y ago
  In any case where a 'fuck you' is warranted deadpan silence works better.
  - nojvek 8y ago
    Sometimes the company deserves it. you usually don’t want to burn bridges, true. However don’t ever let anyone treat you like shit. Walk away. Burn that bridge to the ground. Like the time where one of the seniors was clearly an asshole and was right on the border of racism. My manager wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his promotion. He was clearly a bully. Fuck that bullshit. I walked away as soon as I got my green card.
    - faissaloo 8y ago
      My point is that losing your composure is undignified, let them be the angry ones, they should understand that you have lost nothing and it should eat away at them. Giving a 'fuck you' is in a way providing closure for them.
      - softawre 8y ago
        Totally agree. It might feel good to drop the f-bomb on them but it's never in your best interest.
      - int_19h 8y ago
        So, basically, don't do it to hurt them more? What if you want to provide a closure for yourself, and don't care about them?
        faissaloo 8y ago
        Exactly. You should be good enough at what you do that you are never the one in need of closure.
        int_19h 8y ago
KorematsuFred 8y ago
Not necessarily. Know a girl who said fuck off to her boss and walked out of the cabin because the boss wanted sexual favors and tried to force himself on her. Honestly even punch in the face would have been a very adult response. So it depends on the situation.

justinjlynn 8y ago

A good adult thing to do is to start recognising that different people have different ways of dealing with situations. A good adult thing to do is to start understanding that there is no one absolute answer to almost any question one could ask - including, but not limited to, the question: "Is it appropriate to tell someone 'fuck you' on the way out the door?".

magpi3 8y ago
Adults realize that actions have consequences. Saying fuck you to someone might make me feel better in the moment, but what would it give me in the long run? I would be giving others the chance to view me as childish, unprofessional, and uncivil. Where is the gain in that?
- tasuki 8y ago
  If you were childish, unprofessional, and uncivil, it would be the honest thing to do. Not everything has to be done for personal gain. On a related note, I'd much rather be told an honest "fuck you" than a dishonest "it was good working with you". The former is an opportunity for me to reflect.

int_19h 8y ago

Depends a lot on the context behind that leaving. There are absolutely situations where it can be warranted - abuse (including verbal), for example. Politeness is the default state of affairs, but depending on how you behave, you might lose that privilege.

faissaloo 8y ago
In any case where a 'fuck you' is warranted deadpan silence works better.
- nojvek 8y ago
  Sometimes the company deserves it. you usually don’t want to burn bridges, true. However don’t ever let anyone treat you like shit. Walk away. Burn that bridge to the ground. Like the time where one of the seniors was clearly an asshole and was right on the border of racism. My manager wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his promotion. He was clearly a bully. Fuck that bullshit. I walked away as soon as I got my green card.
  - faissaloo 8y ago
    My point is that losing your composure is undignified, let them be the angry ones, they should understand that you have lost nothing and it should eat away at them. Giving a 'fuck you' is in a way providing closure for them.
    - softawre 8y ago
      Totally agree. It might feel good to drop the f-bomb on them but it's never in your best interest.
    - int_19h 8y ago
      So, basically, don't do it to hurt them more? What if you want to provide a closure for yourself, and don't care about them?
      - faissaloo 8y ago
        Exactly. You should be good enough at what you do that you are never the one in need of closure.
        int_19h 8y ago

KorematsuFred 8y ago

Not necessarily. Know a girl who said fuck off to her boss and walked out of the cabin because the boss wanted sexual favors and tried to force himself on her. Honestly even punch in the face would have been a very adult response. So it depends on the situation.