I was with you until A). Don't hit someone first. If you do, that's assault. It's only self-defense if they try to hit you first. Don't hit someone on the jaw

I was with you until A). Don't hit someone first. If you do, that's assault. It's only self-defense if they try to hit you first. Don't hit someone on the jaw. You'll hurt your hand and stun him very temporarily, if you don't just glance off - it's a stupid thing to do. If you absolutely must hit a man in the face, then hit him on the nose. You won't cause a lot of serious damage to him, you won't hurt your hand and his eyes will water so much that you can run away. Better is to hit him in the stomach as you run past him to the exit. Even better is to run past him to the exit without hitting him. Best is not to be so fucking stupid that you get into a fight in a bar in the first place. SO a stranger insults you - is your ego really so fragile that you give a shit? Don't kick someone while they're down. That's assault. They are unable to be aggressive to you while they are on the floor; if you hit them in that situation, you are at fault. If the bar has CCTV and people there can find you, you will be prosecuted and go to jail for malicious assault. If not, then you're still at fault. You don't wear spandex and you're not a superhero; your job is not to go around bars being a vigilante to assholes. If he's on the ground already, then just walk away. You got it right with D) again. Aside from A) and D), the rest of your post reads like a super-aggressive teenager who lacks experience, or someone who got continually picked on and harbours revenge fantasies - "Why, if I ever see that guy again...". If you go around getting into fights in bars, it doesn't matter how prepared or how fit or how fast you are. Eventually you'll make a mistake or meet someone better prepared, faster or fitter and end up in hospital, or dead. It's a really fucking stupid thing to do.