I've never been anywhere near obese, having been skinny and malnourished all my life, but I do have much experience indulging in self-destructive behavior such

I've never been anywhere near obese, having been skinny and malnourished all my life, but I do have much experience indulging in self-destructive behavior such as eating and drinking junk to sate my depression-fueled cravings. My normal weight for my height before was around 120-125 pounds, but I found that I had become 145lbs at some point two or so years into my depressive state. I wasn't working and I didn't have enough money to eat a well rounded diet. Ultimately, instead of spending my money wisely, I bought junk that could sate my cravings and give me short-lived kicks of joy. Long term health doesn't really matter for someone who was planning to die. I believe this is very much a mental fight. I was not someone who cared to weigh myself regularly because I had a consistent idea of who I was and how I look. I didn't know or even could tell I was gaining weight, because I avoided even looking at my reflection. I avoided even turning on the light in the bathroom to avoid seeing myself clearly. Then the day I finally decided to weigh myself, seeing that I had become 145 pounds was a punch in the throat. This isn't me. That was what made me start living healthier again. I started by doing stretches everyday. Then I added a few pushups and squats here and there. It's good to have a routine and schedule so that you can discipline yourself. A undisciplined person will choose to sate his cravings every time, with any excuse necessary. He will make himself depressed if he has to even if he wasn't feeling that bad that day, to create the conditions necessary for him to justify his shitty decisions. Even if you can't go to the gym, stretch for 10 minutes every night or in the morning. You don't have to change your diet right away, I didn't do that. Start by changing the portion size, start by adding healthier stuff and maybe trying to eat that before you eat whatever you normally eat, so you'll be too full to have eaten too much of the bad stuff. Forget the diet, just use common sense. If you're stretching every day, controlling your portions, and gradually eating less every week, then you're on a good path. Gaining discipline will give you more confidence, and you'll start to want to add more to your routine. Just stretching gets boring right? To summarize, it's a mental battle. There's no diet plan, workout regime, or any other trick that can save you. Because the way you are, you will find a way to justify doing bad things instead of good things. Good luck.