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I don't believe that I define helicopter parents the same as the author of that piece. Helicopter parent in that article: Someone who is involved in their kids

I don't believe that I define helicopter parents the same as the author of that piece. Helicopter parent in that article: Someone who is involved in their kids' lives but still allows the child some amount of autonomy (see authoritative parenting section). Helicopter parent in my experience: Exists solely to REMOVE obstacles to a child's success. The way that was written, a helicopter parent is just a parent that structures a child's time. It's more than that, isn't it? Did I read that wrong?

mont 8y ago
That's pretty much the same as my understanding of helicopter parents, parents who will do anything to help their child, and prevent them from learning how to deal with problems/overcome disparity/etc. Though I would like to see a follow up study in 30 or so years and see how the different parenting styles end up affecting their kid's children/long term happiness.
taeric 8y ago
That is my read, too. There is a bit of a "No true Scotsman" to the debate, but I do feel it is going for an intentionally wrong take on the term.
tomp 8y ago
Yeah there's nothing really wrong with "helicopter parenting" if you define it that way. "Structured time", is basically what school is. It's just that instead of 20-to-1, it's likely up to 3-to-1, so you're very likely to be better at it...
pj_mukh 8y ago
"The most effective parents, according to the authors, are “authoritative.” They use reasoning to persuade kids to do things that are good for them. Instead of strict obedience, they emphasize adaptability, problem-solving and independence — skills that will help their offspring in future workplaces that we can’t even imagine yet." Aside: Knowing nothing about theoretical parenting styles, this doesn't sound "authoritative". Authoritative <anything> wouldn't give you sound reasoning. Authoritative sounds like strict obedience, given that they are practically synonyms but the article says the opposite.
- pjc50 8y ago
  No, that's authoritarian, which the article contrasts.
  - nitrogen 8y ago
    I'm sure the field has its own jargon and that's fine, but for a lay audience it seems like "persuasive" or "rationally supportive" or "educating" would be more clear than "authoritative".
    - germinalphrase 8y ago
      They may be borrowing these terms from educational psychology where they are indeed used exactly this way.
    - Loughla 8y ago
      Is authoritarian and authoritative exclusively educational psychology and child development jargon alone? I'm honestly asking because I work and am steeped in education. It seems to me that anyone educated would be able to draw a line between authoritarian and authoritative just based on context clues from society (that's not meant to be as condescending as it might sound). Am I wrong?
      - akovaski 8y ago
        > Is authoritarian and authoritative exclusively [...] jargon alone? I'd say so, doing an internet search for "authoritarian vs authoritative" yields almost exclusively parenting articles. In general, I think authoritarian is used for "you must do what I tell you" rule (governments, due the vocab word authoritarianism), and authoritative is used for "this is for sure the right way" objects and concepts (papers, sources, statements). The definition I have for authoritarian lines up with the parenting style, but authoritative does not line up so well. My opinion from the outside is that it is not clear. They share the same root word from which their meanings derive; I'd assume they were talking about the same parenting style if it wasn't directly pointed out. If you applied these adjectives to Software Development or some other field, I would be hard-pressed to determine a clear distinction.
cm2187 8y ago
I also heard the term referring to parents being over-protective of their child, which brings another class of problems ("free-range kids" debate).
jedberg 8y ago
Agree. Was going to say the same. My wife was a teacher. The good parent sat down and helped their child with homework. The helicopter parent yelled at my wife about how she shouldn’t count that homework because it was too hard and their child needed a “chill day”.
shadofx 8y ago
I think "helicopter parenting" is not related to authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive parenting styles. The former defines the parent's relationship to the child's society, whereas the rest defines the parent's relationship to the child itself.
- Loughla 8y ago
  That's exactly it. This piece was written to describe a parent's interaction with the child, whereas I've only ever read about/seen helicopter parenting in terms of the relationship with everyone else. I'm 100% convinced they are not the same things. This article used that phrase either out of context, or just to get the grabby headline. Not sure which.
Bartweiss 8y ago
From the article: The most effective parents... Instead of strict obedience, they emphasize adaptability, problem-solving and independence If you'd asked me to define helicopter parenting, I might have said "parenting so invasive it denies kids independence or a chance to solve their own problems". The stereotypical act is something like responding to a bad test grade by calling the teacher, instead of letting their kid do so or work out a different plan. I get that it's not a rigorously-defined term, but I agree with you - this looks like it's not only different but very nearly the opposite of common usage.

mont 8y ago

That's pretty much the same as my understanding of helicopter parents, parents who will do anything to help their child, and prevent them from learning how to deal with problems/overcome disparity/etc. Though I would like to see a follow up study in 30 or so years and see how the different parenting styles end up affecting their kid's children/long term happiness.

taeric 8y ago

That is my read, too. There is a bit of a "No true Scotsman" to the debate, but I do feel it is going for an intentionally wrong take on the term.

tomp 8y ago

Yeah there's nothing really wrong with "helicopter parenting" if you define it that way. "Structured time", is basically what school is. It's just that instead of 20-to-1, it's likely up to 3-to-1, so you're very likely to be better at it...

pj_mukh 8y ago

"The most effective parents, according to the authors, are “authoritative.” They use reasoning to persuade kids to do things that are good for them. Instead of strict obedience, they emphasize adaptability, problem-solving and independence — skills that will help their offspring in future workplaces that we can’t even imagine yet." Aside: Knowing nothing about theoretical parenting styles, this doesn't sound "authoritative". Authoritative <anything> wouldn't give you sound reasoning. Authoritative sounds like strict obedience, given that they are practically synonyms but the article says the opposite.

pjc50 8y ago
No, that's authoritarian, which the article contrasts.
- nitrogen 8y ago
  I'm sure the field has its own jargon and that's fine, but for a lay audience it seems like "persuasive" or "rationally supportive" or "educating" would be more clear than "authoritative".
  - germinalphrase 8y ago
    They may be borrowing these terms from educational psychology where they are indeed used exactly this way.
  - Loughla 8y ago
    Is authoritarian and authoritative exclusively educational psychology and child development jargon alone? I'm honestly asking because I work and am steeped in education. It seems to me that anyone educated would be able to draw a line between authoritarian and authoritative just based on context clues from society (that's not meant to be as condescending as it might sound). Am I wrong?
    - akovaski 8y ago
      > Is authoritarian and authoritative exclusively [...] jargon alone? I'd say so, doing an internet search for "authoritarian vs authoritative" yields almost exclusively parenting articles. In general, I think authoritarian is used for "you must do what I tell you" rule (governments, due the vocab word authoritarianism), and authoritative is used for "this is for sure the right way" objects and concepts (papers, sources, statements). The definition I have for authoritarian lines up with the parenting style, but authoritative does not line up so well. My opinion from the outside is that it is not clear. They share the same root word from which their meanings derive; I'd assume they were talking about the same parenting style if it wasn't directly pointed out. If you applied these adjectives to Software Development or some other field, I would be hard-pressed to determine a clear distinction.

cm2187 8y ago

I also heard the term referring to parents being over-protective of their child, which brings another class of problems ("free-range kids" debate).

jedberg 8y ago

Agree. Was going to say the same. My wife was a teacher. The good parent sat down and helped their child with homework. The helicopter parent yelled at my wife about how she shouldn’t count that homework because it was too hard and their child needed a “chill day”.

shadofx 8y ago

I think "helicopter parenting" is not related to authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive parenting styles. The former defines the parent's relationship to the child's society, whereas the rest defines the parent's relationship to the child itself.

Loughla 8y ago
That's exactly it. This piece was written to describe a parent's interaction with the child, whereas I've only ever read about/seen helicopter parenting in terms of the relationship with everyone else. I'm 100% convinced they are not the same things. This article used that phrase either out of context, or just to get the grabby headline. Not sure which.

Bartweiss 8y ago

From the article: The most effective parents... Instead of strict obedience, they emphasize adaptability, problem-solving and independence If you'd asked me to define helicopter parenting, I might have said "parenting so invasive it denies kids independence or a chance to solve their own problems". The stereotypical act is something like responding to a bad test grade by calling the teacher, instead of letting their kid do so or work out a different plan. I get that it's not a rigorously-defined term, but I agree with you - this looks like it's not only different but very nearly the opposite of common usage.