Udp websockets would solve this problem pretty quick, but we're stuck with webrtc which has few open source servers and none that perform as well as they should

Udp websockets would solve this problem pretty quick, but we're stuck with webrtc which has few open source servers and none that perform as well as they should. It's effectively proprietary, services like discord build their own server software to handle webrtc at scale, and good luck building that yourself.