8 ms·
One word: perspective. At 53, with ~30 years in the industry, I've been through this a few times. The key has always been to step back and look around me. Look
by notacoward 8y ago
One word: perspective.
At 53, with ~30 years in the industry, I've been through this a few times. The key has always been to step back and look around me. Look at other things I could be doing, and maybe do some of them. Focus more attention to family and friends, hobbies, exercise and other forms of self-care. Look at what other people are doing, what I'd do for a living if I couldn't or didn't want to keep programming any more. Compare them to the things I enjoy about programming.
Each time I've concluded that I really do want to continue, but have to plan and negotiate how to keep doing it in a way that wouldn't burn me out again. One time that meant reduced hours (on top of the sabbatical I'd already taken) for a while, and working from home ever since. Some of the negotiation might be with family. Most of it will be with your employer, so having a good manager/culture helps and finding a good one should be a priority otherwise. Changing jobs sometimes helps, but it can also just add its own stress so it should be considered very carefully.
The important things to realize that things can't be the same going forward, or you'll just reach the same outcome. You'll have to change something about your projects, your role, your working conditions. You just need to step back for a bit and figure out what.
- mr_custard 8y agoYou are a true Sage, sir!
- hkyeti 8y agoPerhaps not assume all commenters on YC are male if we want to make the community more welcoming.
- wil421 8y agoYou should read notacoward’s profile. I think you are the type of person he or she is talking about. If OP is offended by being called Sir then let them say so. Why are you passing judgement on behalf of someone else?
- hkyeti 8y agoWas the sir really necessary? Nothing in the comment or profile indicates gender, regardless of what the reality is. And if people keep making this assumption then how do female members who statistically encounter this error far more often feel like this community is equally welcoming of them.
- wil421 8y agoI’m from the South so Sir and Ma’am were ingrained in me since I learned to speak. If OP was female they could easily correct the other poster. Thanks for you compliment I’m a female so it would be ma’am. Edit: I removed a potion of my comment. Your post history gives me the feeling you are pushing your own agenda here.
- hkyeti 8y agoI have no agenda other than hoping our community would become more welcoming. As context, my startup makes an app that is mostly used by women, which has helped me learn to see things from a different point of view. And I've worked with and hired many talented female engineers and designers who have all mentioned about how male focused as a whole our industry still is. I take them at their word.
- notacoward 8y agoPerhaps don't assume GP is assuming. For all you know, we're RL friends. AFAIK not, but I'm sure I've also said many things here before that indicate I'm male and some people do have memories.
- gerbilly 8y agoI think it's fine to address senior female authority figures as 'Sir.' Some people say, 'Mam' or 'Madam' which is fine, but to me it seems like they may come across as diminutive. For instance it would seem insulting to call a female book author an 'authoress', or a 'poetess'.
- deleted 8y ago[deleted]
- swat535 8y agoI really find this kind of comment toxic. I would appreciate it if mods could moderate comments such as the one you made. Not everything is about race, gender, equality and being politically correct. Please, do not derail yet another conversation. Respectfully, [insert your preferred gender/race/correct pc term here]
- tracker1 8y agoSure thing Ma'am.