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Out of curiosity, for those that have done the van life for an extended period of time (say a year or more), how has it affected the relationships you had befor

Out of curiosity, for those that have done the van life for an extended period of time (say a year or more), how has it affected the relationships you had before? A part of me fantasizes about trying this someday, but the thought of not seeing my friends on a regular basis sounds quite lonely in practice.

nickthemagicman 8y ago
Digital Nomaded for a while. I agree with you. It's pretty lonely 'after a while'. Everything starts to be kind of the same just with a different aesthetic. People fetishize travel but there's immense joy in the day to day things. Community, family, good food, etc. My preference is it's better to have a home base with a community and take trips. My preference would be to take month long trips once or twice a year and come home to a home base. That being said...I need to travel and get out of my head space and try to do it often.
- timmaah 8y ago
  I've been a nomad in the US for 6+ years. What has kept me on the road has been the friends I've met and community we've created.
  - hesdeadjim 8y ago
    I guess it's going to be an individual preference for what counts as a meaningful relationship with friends. For me doing shared activities together on a regular basis is what brings me a lot of enjoyment in a friendship. I have long-term friends who I mostly only stay in touch with via the phone/internet, and it's just not the same. To be clear this isn't a value judgement, but perhaps a point to consider when thinking about trying this lifestyle.
catherd 8y ago
I did 8 months and it had no noticeable affect, but then I only see my best friends at most twice a year. I enjoy long periods of solitude so it wasn't a big problem for me, but I think most people would probably want to stay in campgrounds and hostels pretty often to get some socialization in. I picked up hitchhikers a few times, which was usually fun, sometimes smelly, and always interesting.
rolph 8y ago
its not for everyone espescially if your a social butterfly type. There is also stigma and elements of danger, if you go all out nomad. there are places where this lifestyle is tolerated, and others where you will be in a bad spot espescially if you have an encounter with some good ol boy trooper. Its a good "lifeboat" to have in the case of wildfire, volcanic events, or just simple job loss as long as you have a good cash reserve, or are not shy to do some handyman work for food and gas money. It comes in handy knowing how to procure and keep food and water when money or buying is not available. a small crossbow/slingshot and some outdoors skills go a long way and extend your range. its been 35 years for me so far and im still alive.
SwellJoe 8y ago
I've been living full-time in an RV off and on for nearly a decade. I just bought my third RV (first was a motorhome, second was a travel trailer, which I had for three years and grew to hate moving it, and now I'm back to another motorhome...motorhomes are just better if you travel a lot) and I'll be traveling pretty seriously again for the next year or so. Relationships suffer, for sure. I've always been a hardcore loner, and I'm mostly OK with that. I can make friends, and I don't have trouble dating, and I often do when I stay somewhere for more than a couple of months. But, realistically, I'm not good at maintaining relationships, and traveling a lot exacerbates that a lot. Traveling isn't the only factor in this, and it was true even before I started traveling. I'd get into a project or whatever and kinda forget about the rest of the world and the other people in it, sometimes for months at a time. I've been trying to alter this behavior somewhat, as I get older and recognize that real friendships come harder and harder every year. So..yes. It can be quite lonely in practice. If you don't value alone time very highly, it might be too much. It doesn't have to be lonely, though. Being a traveler is interesting to a lot of people, so if you're at all socially proficient you can make new friends (or romantic partners, if you aren't already satisfied in that area) relatively easily, as long as you do social stuff while traveling (I do social bike rides, tech events, activism, and art/music stuff, when I have social energy to spend). They will probably be fleeting relationships, however. It's pretty rare that I meet someone in my travels that I keep in touch with forever. Also, as much as I hate facebook and what it's been used for (and is being used for), it is nice to be able to connect up with people that way, since it makes it possible to run into people again later, maybe not even in the same city you met them in. Getting a cell number or email address just means I might contact them if I am back in the city I last saw them in; but with facebook, I might see that someone I know has moved to a city I'm going to, or whatever. It's sort of a live view of who I know, and that's really valuable. Sometimes, those old friends and acquaintances are happy to see me again, and that's nice.

nickthemagicman 8y ago

Digital Nomaded for a while. I agree with you. It's pretty lonely 'after a while'. Everything starts to be kind of the same just with a different aesthetic. People fetishize travel but there's immense joy in the day to day things. Community, family, good food, etc. My preference is it's better to have a home base with a community and take trips. My preference would be to take month long trips once or twice a year and come home to a home base. That being said...I need to travel and get out of my head space and try to do it often.

timmaah 8y ago
I've been a nomad in the US for 6+ years. What has kept me on the road has been the friends I've met and community we've created.
- hesdeadjim 8y ago
  I guess it's going to be an individual preference for what counts as a meaningful relationship with friends. For me doing shared activities together on a regular basis is what brings me a lot of enjoyment in a friendship. I have long-term friends who I mostly only stay in touch with via the phone/internet, and it's just not the same. To be clear this isn't a value judgement, but perhaps a point to consider when thinking about trying this lifestyle.

catherd 8y ago

I did 8 months and it had no noticeable affect, but then I only see my best friends at most twice a year. I enjoy long periods of solitude so it wasn't a big problem for me, but I think most people would probably want to stay in campgrounds and hostels pretty often to get some socialization in. I picked up hitchhikers a few times, which was usually fun, sometimes smelly, and always interesting.

rolph 8y ago

its not for everyone espescially if your a social butterfly type. There is also stigma and elements of danger, if you go all out nomad. there are places where this lifestyle is tolerated, and others where you will be in a bad spot espescially if you have an encounter with some good ol boy trooper. Its a good "lifeboat" to have in the case of wildfire, volcanic events, or just simple job loss as long as you have a good cash reserve, or are not shy to do some handyman work for food and gas money. It comes in handy knowing how to procure and keep food and water when money or buying is not available. a small crossbow/slingshot and some outdoors skills go a long way and extend your range. its been 35 years for me so far and im still alive.

SwellJoe 8y ago

I've been living full-time in an RV off and on for nearly a decade. I just bought my third RV (first was a motorhome, second was a travel trailer, which I had for three years and grew to hate moving it, and now I'm back to another motorhome...motorhomes are just better if you travel a lot) and I'll be traveling pretty seriously again for the next year or so. Relationships suffer, for sure. I've always been a hardcore loner, and I'm mostly OK with that. I can make friends, and I don't have trouble dating, and I often do when I stay somewhere for more than a couple of months. But, realistically, I'm not good at maintaining relationships, and traveling a lot exacerbates that a lot. Traveling isn't the only factor in this, and it was true even before I started traveling. I'd get into a project or whatever and kinda forget about the rest of the world and the other people in it, sometimes for months at a time. I've been trying to alter this behavior somewhat, as I get older and recognize that real friendships come harder and harder every year. So..yes. It can be quite lonely in practice. If you don't value alone time very highly, it might be too much. It doesn't have to be lonely, though. Being a traveler is interesting to a lot of people, so if you're at all socially proficient you can make new friends (or romantic partners, if you aren't already satisfied in that area) relatively easily, as long as you do social stuff while traveling (I do social bike rides, tech events, activism, and art/music stuff, when I have social energy to spend). They will probably be fleeting relationships, however. It's pretty rare that I meet someone in my travels that I keep in touch with forever. Also, as much as I hate facebook and what it's been used for (and is being used for), it is nice to be able to connect up with people that way, since it makes it possible to run into people again later, maybe not even in the same city you met them in. Getting a cell number or email address just means I might contact them if I am back in the city I last saw them in; but with facebook, I might see that someone I know has moved to a city I'm going to, or whatever. It's sort of a live view of who I know, and that's really valuable. Sometimes, those old friends and acquaintances are happy to see me again, and that's nice.