7 ms·

I think you're asking a genuine question so I'll give a genuine answer - because people do not control their names, just as they don't control their physical fe

I think you're asking a genuine question so I'll give a genuine answer - because people do not control their names, just as they don't control their physical features or ethnic history. The names that are "easy" are typically names that stem from the English language. Just as saying you feel "uncomfortable" around a person of color or someone wearing religious headgear is a microaggression, so is making fun of someone's name because you find it difficult to pronounce. It is likely easy to pronounce in that person's culture, just not for you. And they've probably heard a million jokes about it so are unlikely to find it funny. Therefore your "joke" provides humor to you and others who feel like you, at that person's expense. Yes, you can legally change your name but it takes a lot of time and effort and could cause you a lot of grief with your family and professional confusion.

mc32 8y ago
When you pay at a supermarket, often the cashiers are supposed to say thank you for shopping with us mr/ms Lastname. I’ve had many be unable to pronounce my last name and simply spell out the initial or fade into a mumble, is that a micro aggression? Mine is a simple last name to pronounce for native English speakers. Do I call these people microagressprs?
- mzybert 8y ago
  > When you pay at a supermarket, often the cashiers are supposed to say thank you for shopping with us mr/ms Lastname. Wait, what? That's creepy.
  - _grep_ 8y ago
    How is that creepy? It is normal to use someone's name to address them.
- AQuantized 8y ago
  I think he was specifically referring to people making a joke about the name, rather than those who are merely unable to pronounce it.
  - deleted 8y ago
    [deleted]
- lawlorino 8y ago
  > When you pay at a supermarket, often the cashiers are supposed to say thank you for shopping with us mr/ms Lastname. Where do you shop? Also I would be pretty surprised if people did this was outside the US.
  - mc32 8y ago
    Safeway is the most notorious.
- jayd16 8y ago
  Sometimes you step on someones foot and its a mistake. Sometimes someone doesn't care if they step on your foot or actively try to do so. Having a conversation that goes "well I stepped on a foot by accident once does that make me satan?" is ridiculous. Its really not that complicated guys.
stevenjohns 8y ago
> Yes, you can legally change your name but it takes a lot of time and effort and could cause you a lot of grief with your family and professional confusion. It took me 45 minutes at the Births/Deaths/Marriages office. If I recall, it cost $60.
- pull_my_finger 8y ago
  > "No way! Why should I change it? He’s the one who sucks." Relevant quote from Office Space
- ciupicri 8y ago
  In what country?
- artmageddon 8y ago
  And how much time did you spend updating your new information with the government, your banks, your work, and other services that you interact with?
- jogjayr 8y ago
  Add an extra 5 minutes for every official form in the future where you have to answer "Did you previously use a different name?" and provide documentation for it. Add more time if your name change happened in a different country and you need to provide officially translated documentation.
- rspeer 8y ago
  And it took me 3 months, $180, and being ordered to publish a notice in the local newspaper who was really uninterested in following through and then charged me another $170 for it. It's different everywhere and it's usually not easy.
  - bschwindHN 8y ago
    Did you publish your name change in the Diarrhea Times? https://sludgefeed.com/full-first-issue-diarrhea-times-nathan/ https://sludgefeed.com/full-first-issue-diarrhea-times-natha...
PurpleBoxDragon 8y ago
>It is likely easy to pronounce in that person's culture, just not for you. Often names will live on long after the family has left the culture. In my own case, my original family name was difficult for anyone in my own family to pronounce. Some number of generations ago (all records are lost so this is mostly an assumption) the name itself was Americanized so that the kids who never grew up in the original culture nor who knew the language could pronounce the culture. >because people do not control their names, just as they don't control their physical features This one also stands out to me because there are numerous physical features or other uncontrollable things which our society, to some level, tolerates judging or making fun of. Being short. Being bald. Having a disgraced member of society as a family member (someone who isn't just a criminal, but committed a crime that is harshly judged by society). None of it is fair, but it is still allowed to a large degree. Even more complicated, when we get to personal relationships, judging based even on things like ethnic history is somewhat allowed. Part of me wonders, if I can judge someone I consider acceptable to pair bond with on some criteria, why can't I also use that exact same criteria as a source of humor? If I can't use it to do little things like make a joke, then it seems even more wrong to use it to make larger judgments of a person.
tivert 8y ago
> The names that are "easy" are typically names that stem from the English language. To be fair, most "English" names don't actually stem from the English language, they've just been thoroughly domesticated (Michael, for instance, or Schmidt).

mc32 8y ago

When you pay at a supermarket, often the cashiers are supposed to say thank you for shopping with us mr/ms Lastname. I’ve had many be unable to pronounce my last name and simply spell out the initial or fade into a mumble, is that a micro aggression? Mine is a simple last name to pronounce for native English speakers. Do I call these people microagressprs?

mzybert 8y ago
> When you pay at a supermarket, often the cashiers are supposed to say thank you for shopping with us mr/ms Lastname. Wait, what? That's creepy.
- _grep_ 8y ago
  How is that creepy? It is normal to use someone's name to address them.
AQuantized 8y ago
I think he was specifically referring to people making a joke about the name, rather than those who are merely unable to pronounce it.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
lawlorino 8y ago
> When you pay at a supermarket, often the cashiers are supposed to say thank you for shopping with us mr/ms Lastname. Where do you shop? Also I would be pretty surprised if people did this was outside the US.
- mc32 8y ago
  Safeway is the most notorious.
jayd16 8y ago
Sometimes you step on someones foot and its a mistake. Sometimes someone doesn't care if they step on your foot or actively try to do so. Having a conversation that goes "well I stepped on a foot by accident once does that make me satan?" is ridiculous. Its really not that complicated guys.

stevenjohns 8y ago

> Yes, you can legally change your name but it takes a lot of time and effort and could cause you a lot of grief with your family and professional confusion. It took me 45 minutes at the Births/Deaths/Marriages office. If I recall, it cost $60.

pull_my_finger 8y ago
> "No way! Why should I change it? He’s the one who sucks." Relevant quote from Office Space
ciupicri 8y ago
In what country?
artmageddon 8y ago
And how much time did you spend updating your new information with the government, your banks, your work, and other services that you interact with?
jogjayr 8y ago
Add an extra 5 minutes for every official form in the future where you have to answer "Did you previously use a different name?" and provide documentation for it. Add more time if your name change happened in a different country and you need to provide officially translated documentation.
rspeer 8y ago
And it took me 3 months, $180, and being ordered to publish a notice in the local newspaper who was really uninterested in following through and then charged me another $170 for it. It's different everywhere and it's usually not easy.
- bschwindHN 8y ago
  Did you publish your name change in the Diarrhea Times? https://sludgefeed.com/full-first-issue-diarrhea-times-nathan/ https://sludgefeed.com/full-first-issue-diarrhea-times-natha...

PurpleBoxDragon 8y ago

>It is likely easy to pronounce in that person's culture, just not for you. Often names will live on long after the family has left the culture. In my own case, my original family name was difficult for anyone in my own family to pronounce. Some number of generations ago (all records are lost so this is mostly an assumption) the name itself was Americanized so that the kids who never grew up in the original culture nor who knew the language could pronounce the culture. >because people do not control their names, just as they don't control their physical features This one also stands out to me because there are numerous physical features or other uncontrollable things which our society, to some level, tolerates judging or making fun of. Being short. Being bald. Having a disgraced member of society as a family member (someone who isn't just a criminal, but committed a crime that is harshly judged by society). None of it is fair, but it is still allowed to a large degree. Even more complicated, when we get to personal relationships, judging based even on things like ethnic history is somewhat allowed. Part of me wonders, if I can judge someone I consider acceptable to pair bond with on some criteria, why can't I also use that exact same criteria as a source of humor? If I can't use it to do little things like make a joke, then it seems even more wrong to use it to make larger judgments of a person.

tivert 8y ago

> The names that are "easy" are typically names that stem from the English language. To be fair, most "English" names don't actually stem from the English language, they've just been thoroughly domesticated (Michael, for instance, or Schmidt).