6 ms·

I just made HN account to reply to this, as I feel like I suffer with "existential depression" too. I had never heard of that before, so thanks for commenting.

I just made HN account to reply to this, as I feel like I suffer with "existential depression" too. I had never heard of that before, so thanks for commenting. As I get older, the more I read, it just seems to be always doom and gloom. The obviousness that's occurring to things around us. I'm a natural born worrier anyway, but as I get older I think more about "existence". My wife and I plan to have kids, but then I'll lay there awake at night and part of me thinks, why? I don't think we're heading to a particularly nice place.

scruple 8y ago
Check out Factfulness by Hans Rosling. It presents a compelling case that many of us (westerners) misjudge the state of the world.
magduf 8y ago
Do you live in the US? That's probably a big part of the problem. Everything in the US is doom and gloom, and everyone in the US is horribly paranoid. People are constantly paranoid about someone attacking them, and kids aren't allowed to run around outside because "someone might kidnap them". People that do get a visit from the police and CPS for "child abandonment". If you're planning to have kids, doing it in the US is not something I'd recommend unless you can afford a full-time nanny. It's just not a country that's fit for raising children in any more. Other developed nations offer much healthier environments for raising a family.
- jki275 8y ago
  What "US" are you talking about? There are 50 states, all of whom have very different attitudes and values, and within those are thousands of counties, cities, towns, and unincorporated areas where nothing you wrote applies.
  - magduf 8y ago
    Most of those small towns and unincorporated areas are useless for someone who makes a living in the tech industry. It doesn't matter how nice a place is; if you can't get good-paying work there, it's not a place you can reasonably live. Face the facts: the tech jobs are mostly all in a handful of metro areas, where everything I said is completely true. And it's a completely reasonable assumption that the vast majority of people reading my comment work in the tech industry.
    - jki275 8y ago
      I'm in the tech industry in one of those metro areas, and I grew up in the midwest. Your comment has literally no basis in reality, and your follow-up defense to it has even less. There are good paying tech jobs all over "flyover country" that you discount -- the cost of living is also much lower. One can often work out a situation where their quality of life is better in those areas because of the low cost of living and lack of need to commute like we do in the "metro areas".
      - magduf 8y ago
        Flyover country is full of Trump voters, has no cultural events (unless you consider tractor pulls to be "cultural"), has locals who are generally very religious, and there's zero public transit there. It doesn't compare in any way to the large metro areas. The weather can be really brutal in the midwest too.
        jki275 8y ago
        You should really educate yourself about what you denigrate before you do it. The culture in "flyover country" is different. It's not non-existent. In fact, in many ways there is far greater diversity throughout the midwest than in your metros -- not everyone votes or thinks the way you want them to think in "flyover country", they tend to be pretty independent.
        magduf 8y ago
        I grew up in the South, so I know very well what the "culture" in rural America is like. It's not something to be celebrated. Furthermore, you cannot argue that flyover country is full of Trump voters. The voting records are quite clear about that: those states all voted red in 2016.
        jki275 8y ago
        The culture in the midwest is something you personally dislike. That doesn't make it any less relevant, and simply amplifies how unaware you are of the diversity that exists throughout the midwest, west, and south in the non-coastal regions. And it was the rest of the non-flyover states that voted for him that put him over the top to win, so your point is moot. There are Trump voters everywhere except your echo chambers, and even there it's likely there are many of them you don't know about.
  - coldtea 8y ago
    Different when they consider one another, but not so different to an outsider that has seen places.
    - jki275 8y ago
      Many view "the US" as a homogenous place, culture, and group of people. Nothing could be further from the truth. And I've spent many years living overseas as well as having grown up in the midwest and now living in one of the largest metro areas in the US.
      - coldtea 8y ago
        >Many view "the US" as a homogenous place, culture, and group of people. There are differences in the ways of life between NY and South Dakota, or SF and Alabama, or Denver and New Orleans, but there's also a distinct common national culture and character. Poverty levels, jobs, city vs rural etc change, but culturally all those places are more similar to one another compared to a different country. France is not homogenous either, in the pedantic sense, but in the same we discuss here it is.
        jki275 8y ago
        I think it used to be that way. Culturally today, the difference between the metro areas and the "flyover country" is increasing to the point that people make silly comments like the gp post that betray a total lack of understanding of the rest of the country. There are some common themes -- but they're becoming less and less common.
- irrational 8y ago
  Wow. Bigoted much? That is such a prejudiced view of the US.
- kingsloi 8y ago
  You actually hit it nail on the head. I'm a British guy who married an American woman and I've been in the US about 3 years now. I live in Gary, IN (the nice beach community, south of Lake Michigan) but the I hear the daily horror stories of things that occur here. I doesn't bother me too much, I think shit happens everywhere and we're good people (as in, we're not looking for trouble), and I was raised to have my guard up (out of sight/out of mind etc). But, I think you're right. I've never felt more doom/gloomy since I moved here, and I literally have the best life I've ever had. I plan on having kids here, but hopefully moving back to the UK at some point, to benefit of our healthcare, schooling, etc, but we'll see.
  - magduf 8y ago
    I've seen YouTube videos of American expats coming back home and saying the one big thing they noticed, after spending significant time in someplace like Europe, was how utterly paranoid Americas are. I've felt this myself just after having a short vacation out of the country. It's not really unsafe here (unless you're in downtown Baltimore or Detroit or something), but everyone is just so paranoid that it feels like you're living in a war zone. You should definitely move back to the UK if you have kids. The education alone is worth it: American public schools are absolutely horrendous, and the worst in the developed world. The healthcare is also an important factor.
    - eertami 8y ago
      > worst in the developed world Current government policy in the UK is trying desperately to make the UK public schools steal that title.
      - mrec 8y ago
        I don't follow education policy so I'm not sure what you're referring to here, but I'd be curious to hear what you think the government's motivation is for "trying desperately" to do this. I mean, accidentally wrecking education while trying to do something else is perfectly plausible, but deliberately wrecking education is kind of a strong claim.
- apocalypstyx 8y ago
  I recently saw this series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y97Ywl7RtUw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y97Ywl7RtUw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d1ibtOVImg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d1ibtOVImg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSVlPlnB8wI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSVlPlnB8wI which is an interesting explanation for part of this issue.
- brokenmachine 8y ago
  I'm in Australia. Houses are too expensive to buy an actual family home, even with a "good job". The government is all about spying and distracting and short-term thinking and isn't doing anything positive to improve actual living conditions for the majority at all. Everything is going to hell in a handbasket, and it seems to be accelerating. Australia used to be a great country. I'm not having kids and marooning them on this sinking ship.

scruple 8y ago

Check out Factfulness by Hans Rosling. It presents a compelling case that many of us (westerners) misjudge the state of the world.

magduf 8y ago

Do you live in the US? That's probably a big part of the problem. Everything in the US is doom and gloom, and everyone in the US is horribly paranoid. People are constantly paranoid about someone attacking them, and kids aren't allowed to run around outside because "someone might kidnap them". People that do get a visit from the police and CPS for "child abandonment". If you're planning to have kids, doing it in the US is not something I'd recommend unless you can afford a full-time nanny. It's just not a country that's fit for raising children in any more. Other developed nations offer much healthier environments for raising a family.

jki275 8y ago
What "US" are you talking about? There are 50 states, all of whom have very different attitudes and values, and within those are thousands of counties, cities, towns, and unincorporated areas where nothing you wrote applies.
- magduf 8y ago
  Most of those small towns and unincorporated areas are useless for someone who makes a living in the tech industry. It doesn't matter how nice a place is; if you can't get good-paying work there, it's not a place you can reasonably live. Face the facts: the tech jobs are mostly all in a handful of metro areas, where everything I said is completely true. And it's a completely reasonable assumption that the vast majority of people reading my comment work in the tech industry.
  - jki275 8y ago
    I'm in the tech industry in one of those metro areas, and I grew up in the midwest. Your comment has literally no basis in reality, and your follow-up defense to it has even less. There are good paying tech jobs all over "flyover country" that you discount -- the cost of living is also much lower. One can often work out a situation where their quality of life is better in those areas because of the low cost of living and lack of need to commute like we do in the "metro areas".
    - magduf 8y ago
      Flyover country is full of Trump voters, has no cultural events (unless you consider tractor pulls to be "cultural"), has locals who are generally very religious, and there's zero public transit there. It doesn't compare in any way to the large metro areas. The weather can be really brutal in the midwest too.
      - jki275 8y ago
        You should really educate yourself about what you denigrate before you do it. The culture in "flyover country" is different. It's not non-existent. In fact, in many ways there is far greater diversity throughout the midwest than in your metros -- not everyone votes or thinks the way you want them to think in "flyover country", they tend to be pretty independent.
        magduf 8y ago
        I grew up in the South, so I know very well what the "culture" in rural America is like. It's not something to be celebrated. Furthermore, you cannot argue that flyover country is full of Trump voters. The voting records are quite clear about that: those states all voted red in 2016.
        jki275 8y ago
        The culture in the midwest is something you personally dislike. That doesn't make it any less relevant, and simply amplifies how unaware you are of the diversity that exists throughout the midwest, west, and south in the non-coastal regions. And it was the rest of the non-flyover states that voted for him that put him over the top to win, so your point is moot. There are Trump voters everywhere except your echo chambers, and even there it's likely there are many of them you don't know about.
- coldtea 8y ago
  Different when they consider one another, but not so different to an outsider that has seen places.
  - jki275 8y ago
    Many view "the US" as a homogenous place, culture, and group of people. Nothing could be further from the truth. And I've spent many years living overseas as well as having grown up in the midwest and now living in one of the largest metro areas in the US.
    - coldtea 8y ago
      >Many view "the US" as a homogenous place, culture, and group of people. There are differences in the ways of life between NY and South Dakota, or SF and Alabama, or Denver and New Orleans, but there's also a distinct common national culture and character. Poverty levels, jobs, city vs rural etc change, but culturally all those places are more similar to one another compared to a different country. France is not homogenous either, in the pedantic sense, but in the same we discuss here it is.
      - jki275 8y ago
        I think it used to be that way. Culturally today, the difference between the metro areas and the "flyover country" is increasing to the point that people make silly comments like the gp post that betray a total lack of understanding of the rest of the country. There are some common themes -- but they're becoming less and less common.
irrational 8y ago
Wow. Bigoted much? That is such a prejudiced view of the US.
kingsloi 8y ago
You actually hit it nail on the head. I'm a British guy who married an American woman and I've been in the US about 3 years now. I live in Gary, IN (the nice beach community, south of Lake Michigan) but the I hear the daily horror stories of things that occur here. I doesn't bother me too much, I think shit happens everywhere and we're good people (as in, we're not looking for trouble), and I was raised to have my guard up (out of sight/out of mind etc). But, I think you're right. I've never felt more doom/gloomy since I moved here, and I literally have the best life I've ever had. I plan on having kids here, but hopefully moving back to the UK at some point, to benefit of our healthcare, schooling, etc, but we'll see.
- magduf 8y ago
  I've seen YouTube videos of American expats coming back home and saying the one big thing they noticed, after spending significant time in someplace like Europe, was how utterly paranoid Americas are. I've felt this myself just after having a short vacation out of the country. It's not really unsafe here (unless you're in downtown Baltimore or Detroit or something), but everyone is just so paranoid that it feels like you're living in a war zone. You should definitely move back to the UK if you have kids. The education alone is worth it: American public schools are absolutely horrendous, and the worst in the developed world. The healthcare is also an important factor.
  - eertami 8y ago
    > worst in the developed world Current government policy in the UK is trying desperately to make the UK public schools steal that title.
    - mrec 8y ago
      I don't follow education policy so I'm not sure what you're referring to here, but I'd be curious to hear what you think the government's motivation is for "trying desperately" to do this. I mean, accidentally wrecking education while trying to do something else is perfectly plausible, but deliberately wrecking education is kind of a strong claim.
apocalypstyx 8y ago
I recently saw this series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y97Ywl7RtUw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y97Ywl7RtUw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d1ibtOVImg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d1ibtOVImg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSVlPlnB8wI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSVlPlnB8wI which is an interesting explanation for part of this issue.
brokenmachine 8y ago
I'm in Australia. Houses are too expensive to buy an actual family home, even with a "good job". The government is all about spying and distracting and short-term thinking and isn't doing anything positive to improve actual living conditions for the majority at all. Everything is going to hell in a handbasket, and it seems to be accelerating. Australia used to be a great country. I'm not having kids and marooning them on this sinking ship.