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It might not just be pride. There are probably a set of values that underlie your friends' opinions. If you can find out what they are, it may help you find som
by cbhl 8y ago
It might not just be pride. There are probably a set of values that underlie your friends' opinions. If you can find out what they are, it may help you find some common ground to start a productive conversation. If you understand their values, you can adjust your message, facts and/or anecdotes that you present them with.
If your friend has been through hardships of their own, it may be helpful to ask them about those experiences. Ask them about techniques or strategies they used to overcome those hardships. How can you lead your friend to conclude that these techniques or strategies aren't available to the homeless for themselves?
Some things to look for: expectation of fairness, learned helplessness, loss aversion, distrust in others / doing everything yourself, fear of the unknown/different, rigid adherence to rules.
At the end of the day, you can only change your actions. Also reflect on what's more important to you: your friendship with this person, or your beliefs on this issue. If you fundamentally disagree, and it's really bothering you, it is okay to pause or even end a friendship over it.
- Doxin 8y agoAlso keep in mind that there are (roughly) two schools of thought on what counts as fair: One group thinks fair is when everyone gets support so they get the same chances. The second group thinks fair is giving everyone the same amount of support. Neither is really more correct, but it might help understand people a bit more.
- crooked-v 8y agoNeither may be more correct, but the former historically gets you less long-term social upheaval from angry poor people.
- matt4077 8y agoThat’s a mischaracterisation of at least one side of that particular debate. In the specific case of homelessness, the left’s position is more or less to reject any attempt to assign blame or adjudicate fairness. Could homeless people have avoided their situation by just keeping it together slightly better? Of course, yes. But raining even more hardship on them (people in this threat are talking criminalization and forced sterilization) adresses only our instinct that wants them to suffer, while doing nothing to actually help.
- LifeLiverTransp 8y agoIf one is miserable at work and hates ones life, seeing others suffer who do "shirk" the responsibility is i think sort of social acceptable revenge fantasy. The same sort "good" christians enjoy when they collectively imagine how god will smash all those hedonists at armageddon.