7 ms·

I thought bandsnatch did a great job of articulating what psychosis was like. I spent the better part of a decade in that state of mind. Grateful to have rebu

by ada1981 8y ago

I thought bandsnatch did a great job of articulating what psychosis was like. I spent the better part of a decade in that state of mind. Grateful to have rebuilt my psyche from scratch and be free of that. Occasionally I catch a flicker of it and need to bring myself back into a state of relaxation.

swamy_g 8y ago
Would you be willing to share more? What triggered it? And what were your symptoms like?
- ada1981 8y ago
  In college freshman year I tried to teleport to see my gf by driving into the back of a semi on I-79. As far as I can tell it didn’t work. I spent a lot of time lost in what felt like a deep metaphor / parable. One time I thought my gf as an alien from another star system; when I looked out at the city of Madison, WI I saw present day Madison but also an overlay of an ancient city — it felt like this was some sort of eternal city that always was. I walked into a church and saw the priest was a vampire. I had a conversation with a time traveling Albert Einstein at an airport in Boston. At times it felt like childhood make beleive, there was still a tether back to reality but I was deep in the other realm. At times terrifying. Flights into the depths of hell and judeo-Christian mythology. I was also in and out of suicidal depression. Somehow I also managed to start a number of projects and get lots of press and even some investment, but I couldn’t keep anything going sustainably. A few years ago I was at wits end and had a vision that guided me to start feeling my emotions. That led to Psychedlic therapy, Somatic Therapy and Breathwork. It also led to a new context for relationship and learning how to navigate love induced psychosis and coming out the otherside more healed. Eventually I was able to get underneath the symptoms. I found abuse in my childhood, dishonest and narcissistic care givers, a school that couldn’t hold my high IQ, bullying, etc. I was also always fascinated with technology, psychology, shamanism, the occult, Psychedlics, personal development from a very very early age... sometimes this feels like my purpose. Anyhow, I’m symptom free, healthier than ever, in love and engaged, running a fairly full transformational coaching practice (supporting unicorn founders and other creative minds), building an eco village island at Majagual.org and have no need for medications. Western Psych said I’d be on meds for the rest of my life. Turns out I followed the path of others like Jung - going mad and then creating your own tools and frameworks to find your way back out.
  - dkersten 8y ago
    Thanks for sharing and congratulations on breaking free from it!
    - ada1981 8y ago
      You are welcome.
  - iscrewyou 8y ago
    Not OP, but thanks for sharing. That was very interesting to read and I’m glad you’ve found your way back out.
    - ada1981 8y ago
      Thanks. And in a way, it feels more like finding my way back in. A prominent psychotherapist in the valley, who is a friend, took a walk with me once and said "Guys like me spend thousands of dollars to go into the jungle and drink plant medicine to experience the states of consciousness you can access by looking into someone's eyes or breathing in a certain way. There isn't anything wrong with you, but you do need to learn how to work with this gift." That was very much true. I needed to learn to return back to my body and to material reality and to be able to interface with things in a practical way.
      - iscrewyou 8y ago
        Wow, what a perspective. That is a great way to put it
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  - thisisweirdok 8y ago
    wait... do you own an island now?

swamy_g 8y ago

Would you be willing to share more? What triggered it? And what were your symptoms like?

ada1981 8y ago
In college freshman year I tried to teleport to see my gf by driving into the back of a semi on I-79. As far as I can tell it didn’t work. I spent a lot of time lost in what felt like a deep metaphor / parable. One time I thought my gf as an alien from another star system; when I looked out at the city of Madison, WI I saw present day Madison but also an overlay of an ancient city — it felt like this was some sort of eternal city that always was. I walked into a church and saw the priest was a vampire. I had a conversation with a time traveling Albert Einstein at an airport in Boston. At times it felt like childhood make beleive, there was still a tether back to reality but I was deep in the other realm. At times terrifying. Flights into the depths of hell and judeo-Christian mythology. I was also in and out of suicidal depression. Somehow I also managed to start a number of projects and get lots of press and even some investment, but I couldn’t keep anything going sustainably. A few years ago I was at wits end and had a vision that guided me to start feeling my emotions. That led to Psychedlic therapy, Somatic Therapy and Breathwork. It also led to a new context for relationship and learning how to navigate love induced psychosis and coming out the otherside more healed. Eventually I was able to get underneath the symptoms. I found abuse in my childhood, dishonest and narcissistic care givers, a school that couldn’t hold my high IQ, bullying, etc. I was also always fascinated with technology, psychology, shamanism, the occult, Psychedlics, personal development from a very very early age... sometimes this feels like my purpose. Anyhow, I’m symptom free, healthier than ever, in love and engaged, running a fairly full transformational coaching practice (supporting unicorn founders and other creative minds), building an eco village island at Majagual.org and have no need for medications. Western Psych said I’d be on meds for the rest of my life. Turns out I followed the path of others like Jung - going mad and then creating your own tools and frameworks to find your way back out.
- dkersten 8y ago
  Thanks for sharing and congratulations on breaking free from it!
  - ada1981 8y ago
    You are welcome.
- iscrewyou 8y ago
  Not OP, but thanks for sharing. That was very interesting to read and I’m glad you’ve found your way back out.
  - ada1981 8y ago
    Thanks. And in a way, it feels more like finding my way back in. A prominent psychotherapist in the valley, who is a friend, took a walk with me once and said "Guys like me spend thousands of dollars to go into the jungle and drink plant medicine to experience the states of consciousness you can access by looking into someone's eyes or breathing in a certain way. There isn't anything wrong with you, but you do need to learn how to work with this gift." That was very much true. I needed to learn to return back to my body and to material reality and to be able to interface with things in a practical way.
    - iscrewyou 8y ago
      Wow, what a perspective. That is a great way to put it
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- deleted 8y ago
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- thisisweirdok 8y ago
  wait... do you own an island now?