5 ms·

The problem with ghosting -- all forms of ghosting -- isn't that you break up or quit but that you don't bother to tell the other person. While the break up/qu

The problem with ghosting -- all forms of ghosting -- isn't that you break up or quit but that you don't bother to tell the other person. While the break up/quit might be initiated more often when one has "market power", there is no reason people should become less or more polite while doing so. To put it another way, you might job hop more if the market is hot just as you may date more if you are very attractive, but that doesn't mean you can or should be less polite.

Retra 8y ago
Dating doesn't involve an HR department, legalese, and contractual obligations.
moate 8y ago
The assumption that an employer deserves information from me as an employee is rather bold unless it was specifically put into my contract. I was hired for a specific task, and while many people accept being data-mined as "just part of the job", I'm not being paid for it. Put it another way, it's not my job to be polite. It's nice, and helpful, and might help me do my job. But that isn't the job itself. All employment is transactional. Period. (edited for grammar)
- projectramo 8y ago
  I am curious as to what you mean by this. Sure it isn't your "job" and nothing bad may happen to you. Just as nothing bad will happen to you if you berate a small child without reason. Even if there is no punishment or heaven/hell, and there are not legal issues, that doesn't mean you should not be a kind person. If it doesn't cost you anything and it will make the life of your employer (or a complete stranger for that matter), I suggest you go ahead and do it. I don't have an argument for why. I assume as a fellow human being you just see that it is a good (TM) thing.
  - moate 8y ago
    1- I work with people, but I work for a company. This is an extremely important point to clarify. I don't work for people, even if the company is represented by people. 2- Being kind is great. Love it. Do it all the time. Here's where the problem comes in with your hypothetical, and my baseline assumption: "If it doesn't cost you anything and it will make the life of your employer (or a complete stranger for that matter), I suggest you go ahead and do it." This Is A Bold Assumption You Are Making Quitting a job isn't easy. There's going to be guilt. There's going to be stress. And, based on the title of the article, you have a bad boss. What form this "bad" takes can be a million different things, but it's safe to say that having a shitty conversation with a bad boss is going to cost me "something" (even if it's just my time). Respect is earned. That's my starting point. If I no-call no-show, it's because I don't respect you enough to care about the damage it will cause the company. I'm generally not a blatant asshole, so something probably happened in order for me to feel this way. If we want to go down this rabbit hole, it gets to crazy levels of ethical questions (is it "good" to quit a job you're great at just because you don't like it, since that will cause problems for the person who has to train your replacement and they likely won't do it as well as you, potentially costing the company money in losses, etc .) My summary is this: If I'm ghosting you, it's probably you're fault. You should take this time to reflect on why you sucked so bad that I wouldn't even have the decency to call you to let you know I quit. YMMV.
  - Chris_Chambers 8y ago
    I believe this is called slave morality.
- chrisweekly 8y ago
  transnational -> transactional :)
  - moate 8y ago
    that's a new one. Good catch.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
stronglikedan 8y ago
The only real problem with it is that some people don't realize how small the world can be sometimes, and how easy it is to unexpectedly encounter a previously burned bridge. This is especially true in specialized professions. There's nothing wrong with ghosting acquaintances or colleagues, especially those that have slighted you in some way, but it's definitely not polite to do it to friends or family, which you're connected to at a deeper level. Just know that there's a potential trade-off in that it may come back to bite you someday, such as when the person they just hired to be your new boss turns out to be your old boss.
worldstarhiphop 8y ago
Yes, and please also remember that it's not polite to tell other employees how much you're being paid, or threaten to leave when asking for a raise.
NittLion78 8y ago
I have only crocodile tears for bad employers in this scenario, but in my mind, the main reason behind the 2 week customary notice is it's for your coworkers, not really for who is writing your checks. It can be a real dick move to the worker bees when someone up and walks with a bunch of domain knowledge without warning, especially if they now have no way to recoup it from you.
- ozzyman700 8y ago
  Is lack of shared knowledge the responsibility of the employee though?
  - Phlarp 8y ago
    Highest of double standards. There is not a thought to institutional knowledge when layoffs go out.
- reaperducer 8y ago
  in my mind, the main reason behind the 2 week customary notice is it's for your coworkers, not really for who is writing your checks. I believe it goes back to pre-internet days in order to give the payroll department time to pull you out of the process for the next round of checks, and has just become customary since then.

Retra 8y ago

Dating doesn't involve an HR department, legalese, and contractual obligations.

moate 8y ago

The assumption that an employer deserves information from me as an employee is rather bold unless it was specifically put into my contract. I was hired for a specific task, and while many people accept being data-mined as "just part of the job", I'm not being paid for it. Put it another way, it's not my job to be polite. It's nice, and helpful, and might help me do my job. But that isn't the job itself. All employment is transactional. Period. (edited for grammar)

projectramo 8y ago
I am curious as to what you mean by this. Sure it isn't your "job" and nothing bad may happen to you. Just as nothing bad will happen to you if you berate a small child without reason. Even if there is no punishment or heaven/hell, and there are not legal issues, that doesn't mean you should not be a kind person. If it doesn't cost you anything and it will make the life of your employer (or a complete stranger for that matter), I suggest you go ahead and do it. I don't have an argument for why. I assume as a fellow human being you just see that it is a good (TM) thing.
- moate 8y ago
  1- I work with people, but I work for a company. This is an extremely important point to clarify. I don't work for people, even if the company is represented by people. 2- Being kind is great. Love it. Do it all the time. Here's where the problem comes in with your hypothetical, and my baseline assumption: "If it doesn't cost you anything and it will make the life of your employer (or a complete stranger for that matter), I suggest you go ahead and do it." This Is A Bold Assumption You Are Making Quitting a job isn't easy. There's going to be guilt. There's going to be stress. And, based on the title of the article, you have a bad boss. What form this "bad" takes can be a million different things, but it's safe to say that having a shitty conversation with a bad boss is going to cost me "something" (even if it's just my time). Respect is earned. That's my starting point. If I no-call no-show, it's because I don't respect you enough to care about the damage it will cause the company. I'm generally not a blatant asshole, so something probably happened in order for me to feel this way. If we want to go down this rabbit hole, it gets to crazy levels of ethical questions (is it "good" to quit a job you're great at just because you don't like it, since that will cause problems for the person who has to train your replacement and they likely won't do it as well as you, potentially costing the company money in losses, etc .) My summary is this: If I'm ghosting you, it's probably you're fault. You should take this time to reflect on why you sucked so bad that I wouldn't even have the decency to call you to let you know I quit. YMMV.
- Chris_Chambers 8y ago
  I believe this is called slave morality.
chrisweekly 8y ago
transnational -> transactional :)
- moate 8y ago
  that's a new one. Good catch.
deleted 8y ago
[deleted]

stronglikedan 8y ago

The only real problem with it is that some people don't realize how small the world can be sometimes, and how easy it is to unexpectedly encounter a previously burned bridge. This is especially true in specialized professions. There's nothing wrong with ghosting acquaintances or colleagues, especially those that have slighted you in some way, but it's definitely not polite to do it to friends or family, which you're connected to at a deeper level. Just know that there's a potential trade-off in that it may come back to bite you someday, such as when the person they just hired to be your new boss turns out to be your old boss.

worldstarhiphop 8y ago

Yes, and please also remember that it's not polite to tell other employees how much you're being paid, or threaten to leave when asking for a raise.

NittLion78 8y ago

I have only crocodile tears for bad employers in this scenario, but in my mind, the main reason behind the 2 week customary notice is it's for your coworkers, not really for who is writing your checks. It can be a real dick move to the worker bees when someone up and walks with a bunch of domain knowledge without warning, especially if they now have no way to recoup it from you.

ozzyman700 8y ago
Is lack of shared knowledge the responsibility of the employee though?
- Phlarp 8y ago
  Highest of double standards. There is not a thought to institutional knowledge when layoffs go out.
reaperducer 8y ago
in my mind, the main reason behind the 2 week customary notice is it's for your coworkers, not really for who is writing your checks. I believe it goes back to pre-internet days in order to give the payroll department time to pull you out of the process for the next round of checks, and has just become customary since then.