4 ms·

Whatever happened to 'just ignore them'. Personally, I think that's always the best policy (Unless you're in imminent danger). Also can work well in business.

by axod 16y ago

Whatever happened to 'just ignore them'. Personally, I think that's always the best policy (Unless you're in imminent danger). Also can work well in business. If someone is being a pain, just ignore them and don't give them the publicity they're seeking.

JabavuAdams 16y ago
It's terrible, terrible advice, because it doesn't work with physical violence. I've talked to multiple people who tried this and were bullied mercilessly in response. Kids (of a certain age) don't know when to stop. They naturally try to establish a pecking order, and woe to whoever's at the bottom. Note that I'm not saying you should go punch someone who verbally insults you. I'm specifically talking about responding to violence.
- mickt 16y ago
  As someone who was bullied and ignored it, all I can say is it didn't really help. I did eventually stand up for myself against one bollox who used to be friendly to me at school and voila, all of the bullies stopped. This is after being bullied from the age of 9 to 14, and boy did I hate school. College was a different matter.
- axod 16y ago
  I'm in the UK so it's probably quite different. I don't think as a nation we're anywhere near as confrontational, not to mention guns millitary etc For me, it worked fine. (As well as obviously telling teachers and getting them involved if needed). I absolutely detest parents who tell their kids "If someone hits you, hit them back harder"
  - JabavuAdams 16y ago
    I assume you're talking about the US? I'm Canadian. The UK seems to have a lot more street violence and hooliganism than we have here.
    - axod 16y ago
      In the big cities, possibly.
  - JabavuAdams 16y ago
    > I absolutely detest parents who tell their kids "If someone hits you, hit them back harder" Why? Do you believe this makes society more violent? By the way, I don't agree with the "harder" bit. I.e. I would advocate a more-or-less proportional response in non-life-threating circumstances.
    - axod 16y ago
      Yes. I think it makes for a horrible society. Two wrongs don't make a right. If you hit back, it makes you just as bad, if not worse as the original perpetrator.
grhino 16y ago
The emphasis should be on "until he puts his hand on you". He's asserting that violence is an appropriate response to violence. If a boy has a reputation for defending himself ferociously, boys will tend to shy away from bullying him. However, I think to be effective in some cases, the boy has to prove that he is willing to go to self-destructive lengths to fight back.

by axod 16y ago

JabavuAdams 16y ago

It's terrible, terrible advice, because it doesn't work with physical violence. I've talked to multiple people who tried this and were bullied mercilessly in response. Kids (of a certain age) don't know when to stop. They naturally try to establish a pecking order, and woe to whoever's at the bottom. Note that I'm not saying you should go punch someone who verbally insults you. I'm specifically talking about responding to violence.

mickt 16y ago
As someone who was bullied and ignored it, all I can say is it didn't really help. I did eventually stand up for myself against one bollox who used to be friendly to me at school and voila, all of the bullies stopped. This is after being bullied from the age of 9 to 14, and boy did I hate school. College was a different matter.
axod 16y ago
I'm in the UK so it's probably quite different. I don't think as a nation we're anywhere near as confrontational, not to mention guns millitary etc For me, it worked fine. (As well as obviously telling teachers and getting them involved if needed). I absolutely detest parents who tell their kids "If someone hits you, hit them back harder"
- JabavuAdams 16y ago
  I assume you're talking about the US? I'm Canadian. The UK seems to have a lot more street violence and hooliganism than we have here.
  - axod 16y ago
    In the big cities, possibly.
- JabavuAdams 16y ago
  > I absolutely detest parents who tell their kids "If someone hits you, hit them back harder" Why? Do you believe this makes society more violent? By the way, I don't agree with the "harder" bit. I.e. I would advocate a more-or-less proportional response in non-life-threating circumstances.
  - axod 16y ago
    Yes. I think it makes for a horrible society. Two wrongs don't make a right. If you hit back, it makes you just as bad, if not worse as the original perpetrator.

grhino 16y ago

The emphasis should be on "until he puts his hand on you". He's asserting that violence is an appropriate response to violence. If a boy has a reputation for defending himself ferociously, boys will tend to shy away from bullying him. However, I think to be effective in some cases, the boy has to prove that he is willing to go to self-destructive lengths to fight back.