7 ms·

Grief is subjective, there is no hierarchy, except for the individual.

• adriand 8y ago
  A wise and correct perspective. Grief is an emotion and emotions are inherently subjective. Our cat died two years ago and although we've had a few cats over the years, this cat was special. I was totally unprepared for the grief and pain that I, and the rest of my family members, experienced. I didn't feel like I could really even talk about it with people outside the family because it sounded ridiculous to so many people with the view of "it's just a cat!" But not this cat, and not to us. My aunt died the same year. She was my mom's best friend and growing up I was at her house, hanging with my cousins, all the time. She was a total sweetheart: a kind, goodhearted, sweet woman with a heart of gold. When she passed I grieved, but although I feel genuinely ashamed to write this, the level of emotional intensity - the raw pain - did not reach the same level as when our cat died. Grief over the loss of a beloved being does not come from a rational calculus of that being's worth.
  • vinceguidry 8y ago
    I have found grief to be in direct proportion to the emotional dependence we have. A pet would have been more consistently there in times of emotional distress, while an aunt would not have been. It's not a question of animal vs. human, it's a question of which has more time and feeling invested, and humans tend to invest their emotions more in pets than each other so it hurts more when they're lost.
    • incongruity 8y ago
      A counselor I saw once defined grief as love with nowhere to go. I think that connects well with what you suggest here.