4 ms·

Ask HN: I'm struggling and need some advice

17 points by ethan_ 16y ago

I went straight from graduating college to working on a solo project with little in savings. With the support of my parents, my intention was to take a year after college to work on it with "getting a proper job" as a fallback if things didn't pan out. With shame, I'll admit that I've been living with my parent's for the past 1.5 years, without yet releasing the project. For those wondering, the project involves gambling and automation. There was an enormous learning curve to overcome, and perhaps I was being overly ambitious given my skillset coming out of college. I definitely underestimated the time it would take. My parents worry and express their concerns about me "not making any money" yet, and I genuinely feel ashamed of not meeting my original 1 year deadline. My friends support me, but I have a sense that they think since so much time has passed without results, that my project is a pipe dream. Or maybe that's really what a part of me thinks? Anyways, I've convinced myself that with all the work I've put into this project, if I were to get a proper job right now it would be devastating. I want to at least test the waters first, to release the project and see if it takes off. I equate getting a 9-5 type job as giving up on the project, giving up on myself, and settling for mediocrity. My long-term goal is to fully support myself from passive income sources to the extent that I have freedom of time and place. To me, getting a proper job is a step in the wrong direction, a last resort. Although it is something that would make my parents happy, I don't think it will make me happy. As it stands now, I am 80% towards a releasable project. My problem is that it's becoming increasingly difficult to get the few remaining core tasks done. I see the finish line at the end of the marathon but instead of putting all my energy into one final "sprint", all I can manage to do is crawl. I have been more productive in the first 2 months than the past 6. On a good day, I put in 6 solid hours of programming in a (near-)flow state. However, on a bad day I'm lucky to get 2 hours in. And lately, there have been many more bad days than good ones. Reading http://www.softwarebyrob.com/2010/11/10/five-reasons-you-havent-launched/ has helped reveal some of my problems: - Fear: I am a perfectionist. I have spent too much time working/thinking about things that are not (immediately) important. This quote describes it exactly: "This is how fear really works. It keeps you from launching by tricking you into thinking you have real work to do, when that work is actually pointless busy work created to stave off your launch." For example: I'll have a core task on my TODO list, and will begin working on it for a short time only to convince myself that I must do something else first, like spending more time researching X. And of course there is fear of failure. As I inch closer to a release, the fear of failure becomes more paralyzing. - Lack of self-discipline: Avoiding distractions, managing time, setting and following strict deadlines. "How does a project get to be a year behind schedule? One day at a time." So I am split mentally. My rational side wants to push forward, to "release ASAP!", while my emotional side is trying to prevent it from happing. Does anyone have actionable advice to help me?

petercooper 16y ago
So I am split mentally. My rational side wants to push forward, to "release ASAP!", while my emotional side is trying to prevent it from happing. Have you ever been skydiving, bungee jumping, or something similar (even public speaking for many)? Unless you have a disposition of steel, when you're at the point of jumping, your gut is screaming at you to not do it, even if you're rationally aware of the (low) risk and want to do it. Comparing launching something on to the Internet to jumping out of a plane seems silly on the surface, but there are some strong parallels. The more you do it, the easier it gets (though in both cases it rarely becomes a breeze). A common trick is to pull back on some features so you can launch with the "minimum viable product". And even if you do that, yes, it might fail. But at least you'll know sooner and can stop dragging your heels. Build up some velocity and even if your product/site is going in the wrong direction, you can more easily change course than by looping around procrastinating. I say all this as a semi-reformed procrastinator. My fix is merely to keep up the velocity, even if it's in an unknown direction (examples - at the weekend I built http://tweetcanal.com/ http://tweetcanal.com/ - today I launched http://javascriptweekly.com/ http://javascriptweekly.com/ - both procrastination activities of sorts but they fit into my plan). Changing course is easier than starting the engine in the first place.
- ethan_ 16y ago
  Good analogy. I can definitely relate to this feeling. I like the idea of launching a minimum viable product and I have recently been keeping it in mind during my design/development cycles. The idea of focusing on maintaining velocity seems more appropriate for web apps. My project has a long learning curve and an inherently long feedback loop. The amount of boilerplate code required for something minimally usable is extremely high compared to that of a webapp.
droz 16y ago
this may sound harsh, but, not everyone can be an astronaut- someone's got to make the french fries. Go out and get an 8-5 job, make some money, become independent and work on your project on the side. Also- don't be afraid to make mistakes.

17 points by ethan_ 16y ago

petercooper 16y ago

So I am split mentally. My rational side wants to push forward, to "release ASAP!", while my emotional side is trying to prevent it from happing. Have you ever been skydiving, bungee jumping, or something similar (even public speaking for many)? Unless you have a disposition of steel, when you're at the point of jumping, your gut is screaming at you to not do it, even if you're rationally aware of the (low) risk and want to do it. Comparing launching something on to the Internet to jumping out of a plane seems silly on the surface, but there are some strong parallels. The more you do it, the easier it gets (though in both cases it rarely becomes a breeze). A common trick is to pull back on some features so you can launch with the "minimum viable product". And even if you do that, yes, it might fail. But at least you'll know sooner and can stop dragging your heels. Build up some velocity and even if your product/site is going in the wrong direction, you can more easily change course than by looping around procrastinating. I say all this as a semi-reformed procrastinator. My fix is merely to keep up the velocity, even if it's in an unknown direction (examples - at the weekend I built http://tweetcanal.com/ http://tweetcanal.com/ - today I launched http://javascriptweekly.com/ http://javascriptweekly.com/ - both procrastination activities of sorts but they fit into my plan). Changing course is easier than starting the engine in the first place.

ethan_ 16y ago
Good analogy. I can definitely relate to this feeling. I like the idea of launching a minimum viable product and I have recently been keeping it in mind during my design/development cycles. The idea of focusing on maintaining velocity seems more appropriate for web apps. My project has a long learning curve and an inherently long feedback loop. The amount of boilerplate code required for something minimally usable is extremely high compared to that of a webapp.

droz 16y ago

this may sound harsh, but, not everyone can be an astronaut- someone's got to make the french fries. Go out and get an 8-5 job, make some money, become independent and work on your project on the side. Also- don't be afraid to make mistakes.