3 ms·

I wasn't viewing this as a following this guide solve all the problems. The article did provide some perspective, and offer some suggestions. I think when it co

I wasn't viewing this as a following this guide solve all the problems. The article did provide some perspective, and offer some suggestions. I think when it comes to complicated social problems, finding a way to deal with it successfully is highly personalized to the people involved. Hopefully, the more you learn about these things, the better you can get at dealing with situatins, and people. I would be interested in anything you have to say on the topic, if you can find some time. :)

DoreenMichele 8y ago
For your situation with your brother, I have two suggestions that may or may not be useful: 1. "Forgiveness is a gift. Trust is earned." If he no longer speaks to you, he likely doesn't trust you. Establishing trust is very hard work and often a very jagged little pill to swallow. 2. If you want to reach him, you need to try to understand his life from his perspective as sympathetically as possible. You probably also need to dig down into the family dynamic and try to figure out where things went wrong. This is likely to not be comfortable. Maybe you adore mom, but mom was never good to him and made him out to be The Bad Child. He has every reason to not adore mom and this will be a serious bone of contention. It's also fine if you don't reach out to him. It's fine if you try to sort this out in your mind for purposes of getting on with your own life. I have a genetic disorder that wasn't diagnosed until I was nearly 36. I was a frustrating child to raise. I got called lazy and treated like I was a neurotic, whiny hypochondriac. I'm sympathetic to why people saw it that way, but it was a terrible experience for me and it was a source of injustice in my life. But I am disinclined to try to harangue people into understanding me, doing right by me, etc. Sometimes, life is just hard and we don't have all the answers. I think this is part of why religion was so popular for so much of human history: It's a way to make peace with such things. You shrug and admit you don't have all the answers. In the modern world, we often want to believe we can have all the answers. And sometimes we can't. I'm probably not going to write anything on my blog that would be of interest to you. But I thought I would take a few minutes to try to express myself in a way that hopefully will be a useful crumb for you. And if that doesn't resonate for you, it's okay to ignore the opinions of this internet stranger who has never met you or your brother and doesn't actually know squat about the specifics of your situation. Peace be with you.

DoreenMichele 8y ago

For your situation with your brother, I have two suggestions that may or may not be useful: 1. "Forgiveness is a gift. Trust is earned." If he no longer speaks to you, he likely doesn't trust you. Establishing trust is very hard work and often a very jagged little pill to swallow. 2. If you want to reach him, you need to try to understand his life from his perspective as sympathetically as possible. You probably also need to dig down into the family dynamic and try to figure out where things went wrong. This is likely to not be comfortable. Maybe you adore mom, but mom was never good to him and made him out to be The Bad Child. He has every reason to not adore mom and this will be a serious bone of contention. It's also fine if you don't reach out to him. It's fine if you try to sort this out in your mind for purposes of getting on with your own life. I have a genetic disorder that wasn't diagnosed until I was nearly 36. I was a frustrating child to raise. I got called lazy and treated like I was a neurotic, whiny hypochondriac. I'm sympathetic to why people saw it that way, but it was a terrible experience for me and it was a source of injustice in my life. But I am disinclined to try to harangue people into understanding me, doing right by me, etc. Sometimes, life is just hard and we don't have all the answers. I think this is part of why religion was so popular for so much of human history: It's a way to make peace with such things. You shrug and admit you don't have all the answers. In the modern world, we often want to believe we can have all the answers. And sometimes we can't. I'm probably not going to write anything on my blog that would be of interest to you. But I thought I would take a few minutes to try to express myself in a way that hopefully will be a useful crumb for you. And if that doesn't resonate for you, it's okay to ignore the opinions of this internet stranger who has never met you or your brother and doesn't actually know squat about the specifics of your situation. Peace be with you.