8 ms·

Out of curiosity, do you subsidize your siblings? I'm going to be in the same situation and I'm not sure what I'm going to end up doing but I think I'm going to

• whatshisface 8y ago
  That's a good way to get everyone to hate you.
  • executesorder66 8y ago
    Why would helping out your family with some financial stuff make everyone hate you? Or do you mean they might resent you if you do that?
• notyourwork 8y ago
  Keep your family and money separate. It usually always ends poorly otherwise.
  • white-flame 8y ago
    I think the two terms used by you and the parent don't always overlap neatly: "your family" and "those you love"
  • fzeroracer 8y ago
    Sounds like you haven't had to deal with family members in abject poverty before? My parents can't work, for example. They're both disabled and rely on food stamps plus medicare just to survive. This puts a rather large financial burden on me at times to say the least, because I would rather not see my parents starve to death. If only we had a government that took better care of people in poverty. Imagine that.
    • rhexs 8y ago
      How, exactly, are they going to starve to death on food stamps? Some sort of fancy medical diet Medicaid isn’t covering?
      • fzeroracer 8y ago
        Because food stamps gives them about 180 dollars a month to feed two people. That's hardly enough to survive a month, especially for two disabled people that also have trouble cooking for themselves.
    • opo 8y ago
      >...If only we had a government that took better care of people in poverty. Have they tried getting SSDI? No one gets rich off of that, but it is one of the major government programs to help support those with disabilities.
      • fzeroracer 8y ago
        Unfortunately they've tried and were denied.
  • oldboyFX 8y ago
    Depends on how balanced your family is and who you're giving the money to. Funding a peter pan brother is not the same as funding your retired parents so that they can afford some extra luxuries like travel and enjoy the rest of their lives. And then there's the difference between loaning and gifting money.
• mc32 8y ago
  Don’t you think they migh become codependent? I’d lead them in the right direction, give them advice, etc., but not subsidize, unless they are truly out in the streets. I can see if it’s your little brother or little sister and helping out with some tuition though. Also hand-me-downs are okay.
  • sascha_sl 8y ago
    Not everyone has the means or luck to "escape poverty". I really don't like your implication that it's just "their fault" if they're worse off than you. In a system that is designed to exploit "low skilled" labor. "Codependent" is a really weird choice of word too.
    • mc32 8y ago
      I have a member as described. Extra money and effort are wasted on them. Some people do have a good head on their shoulders and just need _some_ help, but not a “subsidy”. Like I said, younger sibling needs some help? Sure. Need some money to tide over rent this one time, ok. No recurring stream though.
      • darpa_escapee 8y ago
        Statistically, there are far more earnest people who are hard on their luck than there are people who are pathological grifters.
        • bitdeveloper 8y ago
          How would that even be statistically quantified?
          • extra88 8y ago
            I took “statistically” to be just a figure of speech to bolster what was simply their view of the world. However, you probably could interview a few hundred people a label some “earnest,” others “grifters,” and find there are many more of the former.
• centering 8y ago
  I occasionally think that some people on this website are insane. Usually it's the extremely liberal views. This post is different. I can't wrap my head around it at all. edit: I think this actually falls into the usual increadably left case. Its just straight up communism. Or perhaps a universal basic income equivalent.
• axaxs 8y ago
  Absolutely do not do that.
• jurassic 8y ago
  Yeah, moderately. This year I gave about $7k to each sibling which is life-changing for them and not really a hardship for me other than slightly delaying my home-ownership goal. For one sibling, I'm the safety net when crises happen that they can't afford. E.g. can't come up with their car insurance deductible, water heater broke, etc. They don't ask but I always offer when it's clear that a small outlay would spare a huge amount of stress for everyone. Because what am I going to do, let these very minor issues send their financial life spiraling out of control? Of course not. Other sibling is more financially responsible and trying to work through college part-time. I'm paying the car payment and car insurance while they go because I am 100% on board with this self-improvement plan. I proposed this because these expenses were keeping them from enrolling and I think it's in my own financial interest to invest in broadening the base of financial stability in my family. Other context: My dad has a decent job (government job paying ~$80k/yr in small town America) but mom is a lunatic when it comes to money so they have nothing saved. Her idea of being able to afford something is being able to afford the payments. So far I haven't had to bail them out but only because my dad is too proud to ask and would rather go to his mother whenever there is a budget crunch. Edit to add: I see lots of people saying things along the lines of "keep money and family separate". That is a very privileged attitude. It's very hard to enjoy money when people you love are going through hardships that would be solved by an infusion of cash. Obviously it's important not to give more than you can afford but you would be surprised by the number of people in tech who are sending money home in one way or another.
  • nemild 8y ago
    Thank you for sharing all this!
  • tfigment 8y ago
    You are a good person. Money is really good to keep separate though at least for many people I think. I've done similar things like loaned my older brother enough to get through nursing school as he was stocking at Target at 33 and I thought this was a better path. I was better off then but not well off and this cause some strains. When he was doing better it was hard to get him to pay back anything even at 0% interest (I eventually gave up and made it a a gift though wasn't the original intent). I also loaned my dad basically my life savings to bail out his company which the great recession ended bankrupting him anyway. This caused a strain with our relationship mostly because he felt and continues to feel extremely guilty about it even though I was able to rebuild my savings since then. Now I pay half his rent and try to avoid tying my finances too closely to him to try and avoid his creditors and possible future medicaid clawbacks. Money and family can be tricky.
• gshsk 8y ago
  I occasionally think that some people on this website are insane. Usually it's the extremely liberal views. This post is different. I can't wrap my head around it at all. edit: I think this actually falls into the usual increadably left case. Its just straight up communism. Or perhaps a universal basic income equivalent.
  • christophilus 8y ago
    Helping your siblings is communism?
    • jnbiche 8y ago
      This is what Fox news and the modern GOP have done to my country. Note: I'm an ardent capitalist, not particularly partisan by nature, and probably would be a Republican at this point if my life had the Republican party remained what they were 50 years ago. Nonetheless, I'm often stunned at what we've become thanks to modern GOP-inspired propaganda. What would my dear (and communism-hating, btw) grandparents think of such comments, when it was a dear sibling's help that allowed the family to survive the depression? Propaganda sucks.
      • tjr225 8y ago
        Agreed.
      • masonic 8y ago
        had the Republican party remained what they were 50 years ago Meaning, powerless and irrelevant at the Federal level and in 60% of the statehouses?
        • mac01021 8y ago
          The sitting president 50 years (minus 10 days) ago was a Republican.
      • 0x262d 8y ago
        how can you say you are "an ardent capitalist" but opposed to partisanship and propaganda lol? do you think supporting capitalism over socialism is outside the realm of partisanship?
• ethbro 8y ago
  $0.02. If you're going to subsidize, do it in a way that (1) isn't blatantly monetary, (2) is clearly time limited, (3) is private and the other party can be expected to keep reasonable confidence, and (4) carries with it no expectations (you're not righter because you're paying, pretend you're just burning the money). E.g. discretely offer to pay X years of tuition, or for a trip, for a nice dinner for the family, or opening and funding an IRA for a year Disagree with the 'never' remarks. Family is family. If they were there for you, it's laudable to be there for them. Just tread carefully and quietly. PS: Just to point it out, if someone works hard and you give them more than they would normally make... don't trivialize it, because then you're trivializing what they do every day.
• lovich 8y ago
  I'm in a current situation and I subsidize emergencies for my immediate family whether it's medical, cars breaking down, or something else. In context though, they did the same for me when I was poorer than all of them and I do it in return now that I am doing well. I also have an open offer to family to help their first month or two of rent in an expensive area if they are looking for a job there, so that they become part of this safety net.