"The TSA is conducting a survey, why did you opt-out?" With a straight face: "Because I get sexual gratification from having my genitles fondled. Your job is

"The TSA is conducting a survey, why did you opt-out?" With a straight face: "Because I get sexual gratification from having my genitles fondled. Your job is sort of like prostitution, but you get paid by the pimps rather than the customers." Then walk away.