So I'm following a more constructive approach: I take what I think went very well from how my parents raised me (which may not even have been conscious on their

So I'm following a more constructive approach: I take what I think went very well from how my parents raised me (which may not even have been conscious on their part). That the resulting parenting is in some ways almost the polar opposite of OP's approach does not mean that it's the better answer in general, though, but given that my child is likely to have inherited a significant share of my traits, it's probably the better answer for them.