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You've obviously not been in a position like this before, so let me share a thought. It was really difficult for the author to admit these things. She didn't pa

You've obviously not been in a position like this before, so let me share a thought. It was really difficult for the author to admit these things. She didn't paint herself in a positive light. You were treated to raw honesty in a way that is ever more rare in a society where our words can haunt us for decades. And you react, not by appreciating this gesture, but by judging it, and from a wildly underinformed perspective. It's ok not to have empathy for situations you haven't been in, but I recommend you handle it by asking and seeking to learn. Not to say you don't have some valid thoughts in there, but man, you are missing out on a ton of unspoken context.

chasing 8y ago
Okay, but she did write it up and it wound up on Hacker News, so I do feel it reasonable to comment on. Don't assume I didn't think about the piece. And I cringed hard specifically because of my empathy for the child in that situation, having his relationship with his mom harmed for reasons he didn't understand. I did apologize for the tone in a direct reply to the author -- that's fair. Also: Maybe don't assume what positions I have or have not been in as a parent.
- tokai 8y ago
  Thank you for your posts chasing. This whole thread is so bizar to me. Almost all of the posters making any kind of sense are downvoted. How depressing.
- darkerside 8y ago
  You're right to have comments, and my only gripe was with the tone. Having been on both sides of it now, parenting is just really hard. And there really is a ton of social pressure to get it right, like no other pressure you've had. Get your job wrong, the worst case is you get fired (for most people without life or death jobs). Get parenting wrong and they literally take away your child forever. I'm sorry for making assumptions. It seemed pretty clear to me that you haven't been on the other side of this, and there would be nothing wrong with that anyway. Different phase of life and all that. And in sorry for what you've been through. Being abused by a parent, who should be your source of all things good and loving, is a terrible thing.

chasing 8y ago

Okay, but she did write it up and it wound up on Hacker News, so I do feel it reasonable to comment on. Don't assume I didn't think about the piece. And I cringed hard specifically because of my empathy for the child in that situation, having his relationship with his mom harmed for reasons he didn't understand. I did apologize for the tone in a direct reply to the author -- that's fair. Also: Maybe don't assume what positions I have or have not been in as a parent.

tokai 8y ago
Thank you for your posts chasing. This whole thread is so bizar to me. Almost all of the posters making any kind of sense are downvoted. How depressing.
darkerside 8y ago
You're right to have comments, and my only gripe was with the tone. Having been on both sides of it now, parenting is just really hard. And there really is a ton of social pressure to get it right, like no other pressure you've had. Get your job wrong, the worst case is you get fired (for most people without life or death jobs). Get parenting wrong and they literally take away your child forever. I'm sorry for making assumptions. It seemed pretty clear to me that you haven't been on the other side of this, and there would be nothing wrong with that anyway. Different phase of life and all that. And in sorry for what you've been through. Being abused by a parent, who should be your source of all things good and loving, is a terrible thing.